On August 15th I posted this on Facebook:
It was the day that I started a book study with an amazing group of women that God brought together just for this study. The book is called "Made For This: 40 Days to Living Your Purpose". It was the perfect time in my life for a study like this. I had just lost my job the week before, and for many months prior to that I had been dealing with having an (almost) empty nest, changing churches (that process took a couple years actually) and turning the big 5-0 (seriously?). Lots of transition going on and I was neck deep in my journey through the desert of redefining myself when the opportunity to study this book came along. Man, was I ready.
My close friend Becky commented on my Facebook post, something like "wouldn't it be amazing if you got a job offer 40 days from now?" I admit the thought had crossed my mind, but I deleted the comment because I hadn't shared with very many people that I had lost my job, and I didn't want it "out there".
Well.
I wish now that I had left the comment there because last week, on September 24th, I got a job offer! I'm SOOOOOO excited!! I can't stop thanking God for this answer to so many prayers. That evening I shared the news on our family chat in Messenger and our oldest daughter Brittany immediately asked me about the book. She reminded me of the post I made on FB and then asked if I realized how many days there were between August 15th and that day...
Forty. 40 days. Exactly 40 days.
Chills.
Undeniable evidence of God and confirmation of His promise that He has been working this out for good all along.
I have to admit, this journey hasn't always felt good. It was not easy for me to leave my previous job, and then when the one I left it for fell through, I was devastated. But through it all, day after day I have been determined to believe this promise. I have clung to it and that is SO not like me! I mean, the "me" that I was before would have worried and stressed and asked God for help, but then doubted that things would actually work out for good. But this time...I've learned to have hope, and faith - even before I saw any evidence of God working. And then, not only did God come through with a great job for me, but as if He wanted to remove all doubt that might still be lurking in the corners of my brain, He tied a big fat bow on it!!
40 days. Amazing.
It's not just a coincidence. 40 has significant meaning in the bible, and it often symbolizes a trial period. It rained on Noah's ark for 40 days while the earth flooded. And Noah trusted God while the rain fell...before he ever saw dry land. The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years, doubting and failing and regretting until they finally surrendered, obeyed God and believed...then came the promised land. Jesus was tested in the desert for 40 days, the King of Heaven was hungry and tired and tempted...then came the victory.
We're still going through the book, it's going to take more than 40 days for us to digest it all, but I can honestly say that for these past 40 days I have been seeking God more than I have in a long while. Daily surrendering to Him. Reminding myself to believe that He was working all things out for my good, even if I saw no evidence of anything happening. Learning to desire His will for my life more than my own. Realizing that if God is not in it, I will never truly succeed or be happy and fulfilled. If I'd had my way, I would've went back to my old job and most likely stayed there forever (I'm not big on change, and when change results in a big fat belly flop, then I am REALLY not a fan.) But if I did, if God had answered that prayer, I wouldn't have this new career opportunity that I am heading into, and probably wouldn't have done this book study either. And just think of the blessing I would have missed...
So.
This 40 day thing got me thinking...have there been other "40 days in the desert" experiences in my past that I have missed? My first thought went to my time of singleness before Vince came into my life. Without a doubt that was the longest journey I've walked in the desert. It held some of my most painful days and lonely nights, but it was also one of my richest times of growing close to the Lord and deepening my faith.
So, I thought I'd figure out how long was it from the time my first marriage ended until my friend Kari introduced me to Vince's blog, which (if you are familiar with our story, you know) eventually led me to him...
40 months. Not even kidding.
I think I just heard a mic drop in Heaven.
