It seems this place inspires me! I haven't written since the last time I was here, almost two months ago. I went back and re-read the post where I talked about fear. There have been many posts actually where I wrote about the topic of fear because as I have already explained it is something I have struggled with since I was a little girl. But now as I sit here today I can happily say that God has brought so much healing to my life. I'm almost afraid to type out the words in case they aren't really true, but I will do it anyway...fear no longer grips my heart and mind. Not like it did. Not even close. I have a peace that I haven't known for a long time, maybe ever. And the only reason for it is that I have chosen to believe God.
To trust Him.
I am still learning what that means, but what it means to me today is that I do not let my thoughts run wild with worry. I choose to believe that God is able to do what I can't and I trust Him with it.
For instance, there is the teeny tiny little baby issue of my son being in the path of the WORST HURRICANE IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER. Right now as I am typing this, he is being shipped off along with the rest of his unit to a bunker in the mountains as they prepare to ride out the storm. Yes, I know he will be safe. The army is prepared for this and will take care of their people. But my mama mind envisions my baby clinging to a tree all alone being assaulted with wind and waves and big hard objects flying at him at 200 miles an hour. Yes, I know he's a strong army man, but...
Honestly tho, after going through some mild panic after talking to him earlier in the week, I'm not overcome with fear. I am surprisingly calm.
Peace that passes understanding is REAL people!
Because this is not something I would or should have peace about. This would normally send me over an edge or two. But I have realized (with help from Joyce Meyer) that I need to do what I can do, and trust God to do what I can't do. I wrote that down on a post-it and put it by my computer at work. I should put it on a post-it like everywhere I go. Just attach it to my glasses so it's right in front of my face all the time. It really helps. This is a hurricane. My son is 1,981 miles away and in the direct path of the storm. There is absolutely nothing I can do to change that or protect him.
So, I will focus on what I CAN do...I can call and text him, at least for now. I can encourage him and send him scripture like these:
And I can pray.
There is more power in that than anything.
I am praying for his protection, of course, and for the protection of all the people in this storm's path. How terrifying it must be for those who are faced with losing their homes, and possibly their lives. I think of Haiti and the Dominican Republic, where people are already struggling and poor. More than anything tho, I am praying for people to turn to Jesus. To cry out to Him...those who have been putting faith in God off, thinking "some other day" they will consider it. Those who have been keeping their faith in their back pocket because things are going well for them. Those who have never opened their hearts to the Savior. I pray that this crisis brings people to Him and changes their lives for the better. God will do whatever it takes to reach His people. He can calm the storm with a word, but He doesn't always. And sometimes that is the greatest blessing.