Observations from the 20th floor

I've been standing here for about 20 minutes or so, enjoying my iced caramel mocha with soy, and watching the goings on in the city streets below.

It's really quite interesting.  I'm not sure - no, I know that I don't do this often enough.  Intently observe things.  Shut off the thoughts and ruminations in my mind and just be in the moment.

I tried to do that last night, when I attempted to take a bubble bath in the jacuzzi tub in our hotel room which we paid a $25 upgrade for at check-in.  Hey, when you are star struck (was Elton John staying in the same hotel as us?  Right across the street from the Target Center?  OF COURSE HE WAS!)  and you have valet parking and concierges waiting on you, an upgrade to the executive suite with the jacuzzi tub and beautiful view of the city seems like a no-brainer.  We are on a mini-vaca and a nice long, hot bubble bath sounded like a heavenly idea.  Unfortunately it didn't translate into the relaxing oasis that I had anticipated it to be.

The lavender smelled wonderful, dim lighting and Jim Brickman set the perfect mood,  but I soon realized as I turned on the jets that a very little bit of bubble bath is all you actually need.  Or want.  Too much is, well...too much and then you have a choice to make.  Do you lay your head back and become consumed with bubbles?  Or do you sit up and play with them like a toddler?  (Did our upgrade come with free tubby toys?)  Neither option was very relaxing.  Hmmph.  Oh well, it was better than NOT having a jacuzzi!  I'll do better next time.

My bird friends have decided to abandon their perch on the skywalk across the street and are now congregated on the ledge of one of the buildings and I missed it because I was too busy thinking and typing about last night's bubble bath fiasco.

Let me rewind.

The view from our window overlooks the rooftops and streets of downtown Minneapolis.  We are in town to see Elton John perform at the Target Center on his Farewell Tour.  It's been on our bucket list to see Elton together.  It's the 8th time I've seen him in concert, but Vince's first and it was awesome :)  Now, today is our last day here and as we are finishing our packing and getting ready to leave in a couple hours, I find myself at the window.

The first thing that caught my eye and convinced me to slow down and stay awhile was a flock of birds.  There were probably 15-20 or so, all flying in unison, round and round above the building across the street.  I began to wonder how they stayed in sync like that.  There didn't seem to be one leader among them, but they all would flap their wings at the same time, glide at the same time, and gracefully make 180 degree turns, ascending and descending all together.  Over and over until they found their perch on the frame of the skywalk connecting the two buildings below us.  It was kind of like watching synchronized swimming. Does God direct their behavior?  Do they communicate with each other somehow?  Interesting.  Fascinating, actually.

I see a young woman walking her dog on the sidewalk, then she breaks into a jog and her dog happily trots along. She probably lives in an apartment in the area.  Cars went by one by one, all going to different destinations.  Some with roofs and hoods covered with snow.  Metro Transit buses.  An ambulance.  Two cars on the roof of the building across the street that have been there at least since the last snow.  How long have they been there? Will they get towed?  Where are the owners?  A lady appeared on the roof, walked back and forth, and then exited the other side.  Did she lose her car?  What was she looking for?  Has anyone ever jumped off that roof?  Disturbing, I know, but I think about things like that sometimes.

I've always been interested in people and their stories. What motivates them, what is important to them, why they do the things they do, what life experiences and other people have influenced them?

There were thousands of people at the concert last night.  We all came together from various cities and states to go see this musician on this night, and then we all went our separate ways again.  Some of us had an awesome evening.  Others bought tickets and never made it.  Some came with friends and it was one of the best nights of their lives.  And for some others, for various reasons, it was the worst.

I left once during the concert to use the bathroom.  In the concession area was a woman in a wheelchair being attended to by some paramedics.  I thought about stopping and praying with her, but I kept walking.  She was being helped and I wanted to get back to the concert.  Besides that, one of the paramedics was holding a barf bag...do I really want to get close to someone who was heaving and possibly sick with something contagious?  I told myself if she was still there on my way back I would stop.  She was, but was now surrounded by several people who were obviously with her, one was hugging her tight from behind.  She didn't really need me now.  Did I miss an opportunity to bless her?

Jesus would have stopped.  He wouldn't have even hesitated.

Ouch.

Hundreds of people stayed in the same hotel as we did.  On the very same nights.  Many in town for the concert, others for different reasons.  We met a boxer in the elevator, he was in town for a boxing match.  He was friendly and we chatted for our 30 second elevator ride, and we will never meet again.  I helped an older gentleman put his groceries in the trunk of his car at Cub foods, where we stopped last night to pick up some snacks to bring back to our hotel room.  On the way back to our car I realized I had forgotten to get bubble bath, so Vince stayed in the car while I walked back toward the store and spotted this man struggling to put his bags in his trunk.

If we had said no to the upgrade I wouldn't have wanted to get bubble bath...I wouldn't have gone back into the store and then wouldn't have been there to assist this nice man with his bags.  Someone else might have, or he would have struggled and got it done himself.

Dominoes...

Fast forward several hours.  We're at home now, sitting at the kitchen table finishing this blog post and I'm thinking about all the choices we have everyday.  All the "chance" encounters of everyday life on this planet full of people and opportunities.  We have opportunities every single day to observe and to ponder and to make a difference.  Big or small.  How many days of my life have I gotten to the end of the night and thought I didn't do anything significant all day long?  Maybe I did, but just didn't recognize it as being significant.  Maybe I missed it...something the Holy Spirit was prompting me to do but I was too busy or too grossed out or too selfish or too embarrassed to do.

I wonder if Heaven will allow us to review our lives and see all these moments?  The chance encounters.  The divine ones.  The observations.  The meanings behind them.  It might be heartbreaking, but also could be amazing.

And maybe then God will explain the birds to me.

What I'm asking God for in 2017

I love new beginnings!  It's almost a new year, and you know what that means...a new planner! Have I mentioned I'm getting a new planner? And a new journal too...both filled with crisp, bright white blank pages just waiting for ideas and plans and goals and prayers to make their way from my mind and heart onto paper. I love writing, I love everything about it. I don't mind typing out my thoughts like I do on this blog, but there is something about holding paper in my hands, turning actual pages, and writing out my life and thoughts in my own handwriting on sheets of real paper spread out before me. I find it refreshing and inspiring.  I may have mentioned that my 2017 planner is on it's way (I ended up ordering a different one than the one I had last year and wrote about here).  I'm just a wee bit excited about it.

It's New Year's Eve and as I am sitting on the couch reclining next to my husband, half paying attention to the black & white movie he's watching, I am contemplating the new year.  I'm wondering what 2017 has in store for us and praying that it is mostly good things.  I know that if God allows trials into my life, that He will have a purpose in it, and I pray that I remember that when they come.  Even so, I am asking God to bless this year. For myself, my husband, and our kids.  Here is what I'm asking Him for, for all of us...

Deeper Faith

Unconditional Trust

Complete Surrender.

A new year means a chance to start over.  

Refocus. 

Prioritize.  

And for me, this new year means resurrecting old passions that have gone stale, like writing, playing piano, photography, women's ministry, time with friends, believing for good things.  It is surprising to me that I have let these passions fall by the wayside, but what's even more surprising is that I haven't really even missed them.  But there is an emptiness that remains in their absence that is becoming obvious to me now and I'm beginning to long for them again. Especially the believing for good things.  I've gone kind of numb to that. Not cynical exactly, I just haven't been expecting good things to happen and I don't like that feeling.  That's not who I want to be, and it's certainly not who God wants me to be.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13

So, it's a great time for a new year to happen!  My hope is renewed and I just know that 2017 is going to be a great year because God is good,  my husband started blogging again, and my new planner will be here in a couple weeks! Cha!

Things I am obsessed with right now, including but not limited to my planner

Vince and I watched our first Hallmark Christmas movie last night and I AM NOW OBSESSED WITH HALLMARK CHRISTMAS MOVIES.  It was so good!  Cheesey and sweet and made me think about Christmas and love and cozy blankets and good feels.  Hallmark Christmas movies might now be the only thing I want to watch until January.  Well, except for "This is Us"...which is SO MUCH AWESOME!!!  Oh, and of course, "Criminal Minds".  Ok, fine...also "Married at First Sight" even though the last three seasons have been disappointing and somewhat annoying.  Only the first season was really good (I binge watched the entire first season on Netflix all in one single day, it was that good). but I keep watching each season because I can't NOT watch it.

And in much more exciting news about my life...I have ordered my new 2017 planner!!!  It is important that my people know how obsessed I am with my planner.   I am literally in love with it.  I look at it multiple times a day, and write all my lists and plans and important things in it.  Every year I get super excited when it's time to start looking for one for the next year, which for me starts sometime around August.  I have been on the search for the perfect planner for years now, and it's not easy to find.  Much like the most perfect purse, it is important to find the just right planner.  It has to have a cute font, large squares for every day of the week, including Saturdays and Sundays (why do calendar people think that we have less going on on the weekends?)  Well, after years of searching and trying different ones, last year I found it.  The perfect planner...

They are called "Bloom Daily Planners" and I love everything about them...the fonts, the size, the colors, the layout...everything.  

As I said, I ordered my 2017 one this week and when it comes I will hug it and hold it up to my cheek and sit down and admire it and fill in all the birthdays and anniversaries and anything else I know about for next year.

Pentatonix singing "Jolene" at the CMA Awards this week was pretty awesome.

Now I might need to break out the Christmas music because.......Pentatonix!

It's about time we talk about my driving

I'm a bit of a distracted driver.  Oh, I keep my eyes on the road and I don't run into things, and I NEVER text while driving.  But I do miss turns and take wrong streets, and as I like to say, take "interesting" routes to get places.  The people in my circles know this about me...the ones in my close circles anyway (aka anyone who has actually ridden in a vehicle with me ever).  They like to say "Where are you going, hon?"  Or "mom...Mom...MOM!"  Or just sit there politely wondering what's wrong with me.

Like the other day when I was taking Hope downtown and we ended up in Wisconsin.

But I always get us where we need to be, yes I do.  This interesting way that I like to drive was easier to pull off before my kids were old enough to know where we were going...when they weren't really paying attention to all the turns and kept themselves occupied with other things. Things other than the turns we were making or the scenery out the windows.  Things like iPods and arguing.

But now that our youngest two have their driver's permits, it's a whole new game.  They pay attention to everything now and so does my husband, by the way.  This he has always done.  He is a silent road rager...I mean "driving expert"...and he makes comments in the car about other drivers (most of whom don't know how to drive and are in his way).  He can spot someone three cars ahead of us who doesn't use their blinker and will be all "oh nice, yea let's ALL not use our blinkers I mean really the rest of us don't need to know where you are going.  Wow. Have fun in driving school." This I don't understand. I keep saying to him "why do you care about that?  It doesn't affect us at all." And I shake my head with superiority, because I don't freak out over such things. Even when something major happens, like someone cuts us off and nearly causes an accident, I might say "oopsie, that was close" while Vince has a mini stroke.

So.

As I mentioned, our youngest two have their permits now.  Which means that in less than a year they will both have their licenses and their own cars and won't need us to drive them around anymore.

Sigh.

This is both cause for happy dances and sadness for me, because I actually do enjoy our car time.  I drive them to school everyday and pick them up most days too, and our car time is often when we have the best talks and laughs.  We connect and talk about our days and have each other's full attention (which may have something to do with the interesting routes I take). And we listen to music together - hello Sirius Radio my new best friend!  We listen to real music on stations like The Blend, Y2Country, Classics Rewind, 80's on 8, 70's on 7, and HAIR NATION!!  Cha!  Sometimes I let them choose but usually not.  Mama's car, Mama's choice.  And there are so many teachable moments, I mean how can we call ourselves parents if we don't teach our kids about Kansas and Elton John and Queen and Billy Joel and Guns N' Roses and Cyndi Lauper???  I mean honestly.  If our kids launch without knowing the words to "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "Carry on Wayward Son" and "Sweet Child o' Mine" then we have failed as 80's parents.  That's all I'm saying.

American Idol and my big accomplishment for the day

Not that I am counting or anything, but it's 11 weeks, 3 days, and 2 hours until Season 13 of American Idol starts. 

About that.  I'm a wee bit excited.  Last year we were "fasting" from cable so I didn't see it at all.  AT ALL.  I don't think I saw even one episode.  Well, all the anticipation from last year's hiatus must have accumulated and multiplied because right now I'm PUUUUUUMPED!!  Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban, and now....Harry Connick Jr.???  I can't think of a better panel.  So much awesomeness.  I hope my internet friend (I imagine that we are friends anyway) BooMama does a live blog party during Idol this year like she has before.  It was so much fun! 

So, aside from getting a few loads of laundry done, running the dishwasher, and taking out my bathroom garbage, my big accomplishment for the day was to rescue my candle.  This is my favorite candle in the ENTIRE world.  I know I have mentioned it before several times (it used to be called Campfire Marshmallow, but they changed the name last year).  It is quite possibly my most favorite smell (with the possible exception of Vince's cologne but I won't be gross). 

The wick had some problems, it had gotten off center and was buried in black chunky stuff.  So I did some surgery with the new tool I just got that trims wicks (candles are important to me, don't judge) and to make an already long and boring story shorter, I doctored it up and now it is burning beautifully, with a clean and centered wick, and I am very happy about it.  Vince called me the "Candle Whisperer". 

And in my quest to find a picture on Google images, I came across this amazing creation and I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO DO THIS!!! 

That is all.

American Idol - Top 3

Ok, I raced home after worship team practice at church tonight to get home in time for Idol...I'm not sure where my theology is on that, but I didn't speed so I think that makes it ok, right?  Anyway, I missed Casey's first performance.  Sigh. 

Crystal Bowersox "Come To My Window" - loved what she did with the song...after the initial harmonica, which seemed kind of strange to me.  Not a big fan of the harmonica unless you are Billy Joel. 

Lee Dwyze "Simple Man" - I thought he did fantastic with this!  Love that he picked a not-so-popular song, because it showed originality and confidence that has been building in him.  I think the originality has always been there, but just recently he's really letting loose and showing who he really is and what he can do.  Well done!

Casey James "Daughters" - One word...beautiful.  This type of music is SO meant for Casey, even though I wouldn't put him in the same genre as  John Mayer.  He added his own acoustic style to it, which I (of course) loved.  I kind of agree with Simon in that the song didn't have a "climactic moment" so I'm not sure how that will be received, but based on artistic talent, he nailed it. 

Crystal Bowersox "Maybe I'm Amazed" - I'm kinda running out of words for how awesome Crystal is.  She really is.  She's got serious talent.  That is all.

Lee DeWyze "Hallelujia" - Oh, I'm excited.  I love this song........

Sorry for the long pause, but I was having a moment.  OH. MY. WORD.  I am speechless.  I have chills and tears in my eyes.  I am literally crying now.  And I hear Mr. Wonderful sniffling too!  All I can say is wow.  There are no other words.  Absolutely, incredible and amazing beyond belief.  That boy has just secured himself a career in music no matter what the outcome of Idol.

Best of the night:  Lee, by far
Probably going:  Casey....but for the record, I'm still a huge fan!

Go check out BooMama's blog and see what more AI fans are talking about!

In the waiting and the trusting

"Christ's priority for the believer's life is not how much he or she studies the Word, enjoys attending Bible study, or discusses Scripture in small groups. His priority for the believer is to hear the Word and do it". - Beth Moore

To hear the Word...and do it.  To listen to Jesus and do what He tells me to do.  Can I really do that?  Is He really speaking to me? Yes He is, and yes I can.

Jesus said "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." John 10:27. 

If Jesus calls me to listen to His voice, then He must be speaking to me.  The problem is that I am usually making too much of my own noise to hear Him! I've been doing something about that this past week, and it's making all the difference in my days.  I have started setting my alarm 30 minutes early and before I even get out of bed I raise the blinds (or turn on my lamp, depending on how light it is out), grab my bible and journal and my devotional, and I spend some time with God.  I am reading the book of John right now, going through one section at a time and journalling about it.  It's been amazing!  I've also been focusing on listening more when I pray...listening more than talking.  Seeking to be close to God, more than asking Him for things.  Shutting my mouth when I pray is not an easy thing for me to do!  I always have things to tell God (as if He doesn't already know), things to ask Him for (as if He isn't aware of my needs), and I feel like I have to remind God of the obvious (if I'm going to open a daycare, then I need children, God!!) 

See, I have all the preparations just about done, and still no families have signed up.  I feel like I have done all that I need to do to get the word out and have even advertised in our local newspaper.  I have been praying for God to bring the right families to me...but what I'm wondering now is maybe I'm the one who's not ready.  Maybe God has some work to do in my heart and in my life before I can take on this new venture.  I need to rely on His timing and do that one thing that is so hard for me sometimes. 

Trust. 

The other day I was praying about all of this and I asked God to show me if indeed this is what He wants me to do with my life (as if I need yet more confirmation than He has already given me).  Are you SURE God?  Maybe this isn't what You want me to do, if not then just let me know. I'll stay where I'm at with my job.  I just need to KNOW!  And I asked Him, which would give Him the most glory?

His answer came immediately and clearly.  He said "Your circumstances do not bring Me glory.  It's how you handle whatever circumstance that you are in that will bring Me glory.  You can glorify Me by being faithful wherever you are."

Hello.

I know God has a plan.  I know that He knows what He wants me to do.  And I also know that He has been working on this trust issue with me for some time now.  That lesson of "learning to trust" is being woven into His plan for my life, and that plan apparantly involves some waiting.  After all, how much trust would it require of me if everything all fell into place imediately?  If there was no waiting to be done.  No opportunity to trust the unseen.  And now, in the waiting and the trusting, He is giving me the opportunity to bring Him glory...now.  Before the families come.  When people ask me how things are going and if I have any kids signed up yet and I say "no, but God has a plan and I'm trusting in His timing."  Maybe that is part of His plan? Or maybe in the end He really will say no to all of this? 

Whatever happens, I'm going to keep getting up at 6am and spending time with Him.  I'm going to continue to learn to trust and bring Him glory whatever the circumstances are. And I'm going to continue to listen for His voice, to hear His Word...and DO it. 

Will you join me?

American Idol - Top 4

It feels soooo good to be all caught up on our laundry!

Oh wait...I'm not all caught up. But I can imagine that it would feel really good.

Looks like I'll be folding laundry during Idol tonight (again).  Oh well...here we go!

Lee DeWyze "Kiss from a Rose" - Hmmm....I don't know.  I really, really love Lee and think he has so much potential to be a rock star.  His voice was incredible  - raspy and relaxed and he seemed more comfortable than he has in the past.  But he was a little flat in spots and needs to learn to breath properly so that it doesn't interrupt the song.  I don't think that was the best song choice for him, but I still think he's awesome and I won't be disappointed if he wins this.

Michael Lynche "The River Jordan" - I know that's not the actual name of the song but that's what I'm choosing to call it because it just seems like that should be the name.  I don't even remember what movie this is from either.  Well, I thought that was good.  I liked the backup singers, but I just don't think it had enough punch.  Not enough passion.  It seemed like a good idea, but didn't really pull it off completely?  But I can't identify anything that was bad, but like Randy said, even though it really annoys me when he says it, it was just "ah-ight."

Duets are next...I'm so EXCITED!  What a cool idea, and Lee and Crystal together is going to sound amazing, I just know it.  I just know.  Prepare for lots of exclamation points and keyboard shouting.

I TOLD YOU!  I TOLD YOU!  I TOLD YOU!!!  See, THAT's why Lee is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!  This is giving me chills.  Now THAT is singing right there!  WOW!!!  What an amazing song.  That performance could totally be on the radio right now, and will be on my ipod by the end of the night.  The new Captain and Tennillle - HA!  Ellen cracks me up.  That may have been the best performance of the whole season so far.  They absolutely brought out the best in eachother with that song.  That's your top two right there (sorry Casey). 

Oooooh, Casey is next...doing Simon and Garfunkel.  This could be good.  Love me some Simon and Garfunkel!  Why did I just say "love me some"?  Wow, I'm annoying myself tonight.

Casey James "Mrs. Robinson" - Ok, at first I thought he was doing the song too slow, too much like the original, and nothing special.  Halfway through the song, he really started putting some heart into it, he started making it original, and I really loved the ending.  Beautiful.  The mandolin was very cool too.  I liked it! 

Crystal Bowersox "I'm Alright" - Excellent as always.  I love what she did with the song, which I never really liked, but the way she sang it and put her own style into it, I thought was great.  That girl can make anything sound good.

Hmmm...Casey and Mike doing a duet.  Good song choice for a duet for two guys.  Niiiiice harmonies and they are doing great with both acoustic guitars - love it!!  Not on the same level as Crystal and Lee's, but they did really well!

The judges were right, the duets ROCKED IT! 

Best of the night:  Lee in the duet w/ Crystal, hands down.
Going home: I have loved Casey since the auditions, but I think he'll be the one to go this week. Sigh.

And I got absolutely no laundry done.  GAAAH!

American Idol - Top 6

I'm really glad to see Shania Twain as the mentor tonight.  I'm not a huge fan of hers, although I am a country girl...now Wynnona?  THAT would be a mentor!  Anyway, I think Shania will be great and I'm looking forward to seeing what she has to offer the contestants.  I really, REALLY hope no one does "I Feel Like A Woman".  It just doesn't need to be done.

Ok, here we go.  I'm seeing Lee practice and already know he's going to be awesome.

Lee Dewyze "You're Still The One" - Yep.  He's beyond awesome.  Wow.  That was amazing on so many levels.  He is showing more style than I've ever seen him.  Such raw talent.  Can you say iTunes download? 

"The only ones who really make it in the end are the ones who feel it the most" - Shania just said that while coaching Mike.  I like it.

Michael Lynch "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing" - Uh boy.  I really want to like this, but I'm sorry - the song is just so sappy.  He sounds like Luther Vandross, for sure...and if one were a Luther Vandross fan, this would be amazing.  I don't know, it was good and all, but just not my style. 

Casey James "Don't" - Niiiiice.  Hello.  That was incredible!

What in the world???  Did you see the ProActiv commercial and the girl with the eyes that looked like targets???  Wow.  Can you say blink?

Crystal Bowersox "No One Needs To Know" I can't believe I'm saying this, but that was weak for me.  Not the right song choice, at all.  Too happy and chipper, and Crystal has far too much soul for that.  She could have done so much more vocally with a different song. 

Aaron's coming....I might need to make a trip to the bathroom.  SORRY! 

Aaron Kelly "It's In The Way" - It wasn't terrible.  Not great, but not terribly terrible.   Until he said he was singing it to his mom.  Eew.  It's a love song.  That kinda creeps me out.  And is that how you spell terrible?  It looks weird when you type it out.

Have you seen this?  Someone put this out on Facebook today and I've watched it 3 times.  It's hysterical!



One more song of the night...

Siobhan "Any Man of Mine" - Ok, I like this song, but I have to admit I didn't hear alot of it because I was busy singing it to Mr. Wonderful :)  However, I paid enough attention to it to find her performance a bit bipolar....too quiet in the beginning and manic at the end.  But I think there are enough crazies out there who like her so against my better judgement she'll probably be around next week.  No one listens to me.

Best of the night - Lee KILLED it, with Casey following a close second.
Needs to be done already - Siobhan
Vote off prediction - Aaron or Michael.  Prolly Michael (sigh).  I don't think his performance is going to appeal to alot of people, even though he did really well.

American Idol - Top 9 again

Just finished dinner and made it to the couch on time to see Crystal, no intro tonight.

Crystal "Saved" - I really love the backup singers, wow!  So cool!  Loved the bluesy soul.  I like that she didn't pick a popular song, it was very original and she did it with her own style for sure.  She definitely took Adam's advice to add some energy - loved the electric guitar and she really looked like she was having a blast!  Fantastic.  She is such a natural star and I think I'll be shocked if she doesn't win.  And may I just say that she is very classy to NOT do the number thing with her fingers during the phone number pitch.

Velma Orbison "Hound Dog" - I'm afraid to say this, but I think Andrew might do well with an Elvis song.  It just seems like it will be his style.  I'll let you know after the commercial...

Ok, I was a little worried the first verse, but after he got started he came out of his shell a bit and showed some style.  I have to say that in a smallish kind of way, I kind of half-way liked it.  But it didn't have enough wow to really be impressive, or to make me a fan.   

Tim Urban "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" - Nice depth to his voice, love the acoustic guitar, and what he's doing with the song!  He sounds like that guy that sings that song from Shrek ...anyway.  Very, very beautiful, original, emotional.....oooh, there's the charlie manson eyes, but it's ok.  I"m too distracted by the awesomeness of this performance to be scared.  One word....wow!!!!

Now I have time to look up that Shrek song on iTunes, hold on...

Lee DeWyze "Little Less Conversation" - Here we go, Lee man...love the base solo, it added some drama and style to the song (as if he needs it).  I don't care if he doesn't get all animated, he's just a mellow guy and that boy can sing!  Very very cool!

Aaron Kelly "Blue Suede Shoes" - I don't think I need to hear this song again ever in my life.  And I also don't think anyone needs to ever never again saunter down the stairs while they are singing.  It just can't be done without looking corny.  That said, Aaron is just too much of a boy for me to take him seriously.  Everything he does just feels like a highschool performance, not authentic.  But he has a lot of teeny-bopper fans so he may not be voted off just yet.  

Siobhan "Suspicious Minds" - Ok....this is my favorite Elvis song - and actually one of my favorite songs altogether; but help me now it is just painful to listen to and see Siobhan perform it.  Ugh.  Bleck.  MUTE!!!

Come on, Big Mike!  Make us glad they saved you (even though I already am)!

Michael Lynch "In The Ghetto" - That was amazing.  And that's all I have to say about that.

Katie Stevens "Baby What Do You Want Me To Do" - Get voted off.  That's what I want you to do. 

The judges are having more fun tonight, tho, which is kind of refreshing.  And have you noticed that Ryan hasn't had any smart comments or even questions for the judges tonight?  Coincidence?  Hmmm...

Casey James "Lawdy Miss Claudie"  Thiiiiiiiiis is gonna be good!  Ummm, yea.  Hello.  That was a-maz-ing.  And the judges........are you serious??????????  I don't understand it.  At all.  Their criticisms of him are ridiculous.  I'm getting mad now.

I wasn't excited about Adam Lambert being the mentor this week.  I liked him last year, but since then I have not at all been impressed with his image and how he is marketing himself.  However, I thought he did a great job of mentoring and I was pleasantly surprised.  He was honest and gave some constructive advice.  He could have used a little more eye make up tho.  Wow.

Best of the night:  As always, Casey, and I just can't decide for second place between Mike, Lee and Crystal....and even Tim. 

Need to go:  Aaron, Siobhan, Andrew and Katie...don't care which, they all just need to go.

American Idol - Top 9

Ok, first of all I have to get something off my chest...is it just me or is Ryan just not very happy this year?  He used to be so cheerful and smiled alot, and the playful banter he had with the judges always made me chuckle.  But this year it's different.  There's an edge to it, and it's sometimes even uncomfortable. 
Ok, here we go!

Aaron Kelly - "The Long and Winding Road". Oh baby boy...he's so cute, but soooo not ready for the big time.  His vocals were pretty weak and the poor thing seemed very, very nervous.  I don't blame him at all, how could he not be nervous? 

I love how they are having the contestants talk about eachother between performances!  It helps them not be so "me me me" focused.  It's nice to see how they all support eachother and they obviously develop close relationships on the show.  The backstage interviews are an interesting addition too...except they kind of make me feel like I'm at the Olympics.

Katie Stevens - "Let it Be"  She's doing ok, but like Mr. Wonderful just said, I'd rather have heard Didi sing this song.  Sigh.  (They should have saved her.)  Katie has a nice voice, but not nearly enough power to pull off this song.  Randy....her best performance ever?  Ridiculous?  Wha???  I don't get it.

Velma Orbison - "Can't Buy Me Love".  Oh dear.  No.  Just no.

Michael Lynch - "Eleanor Rigby".  Go Big Mike!  That was really, really good!  I love that he chose a song that wasn't really popular, something different and original.  He did fantastic.

Ok, can I just say that Simon needs to stop arguing with the audience.  And pretending to be surprised that they boo him.  

Crystal Bowersox - "Come Together".  Oh yes, AWESOME song!  Aaaaand, of course Crystal is amazing.  I feel like I'm at a concert!  She's so comfortable and shows her style consistently.  And thanks to my husband, I learned what a didgeridoo is (had to google how to spell that).  Best performance of the night so far. 

Ok, Velma made me laugh with his "I love you Tim" comment.  Maybe he's not so bad?

Tim Urban - "All My Lovin'".  Wooooow!  I'm surprised!  Pleasantly surprised!  That was really good!

Commercial break, time for some Googlie fun...

...am I wrong?

Ok, here we go...Casey's next!  Casey's next!  He's the best performance of the night, for sure.....er, wait.  He hasn't sung yet. 

Casey James - "Jealous Guy".  I would type something about how beautiful the cello is, but I'm too busy drinking in his beautiful voice.  Aaaaaaah.  Excellence.

Siobhan Magnus - "Across The Universe".  I think that's where her brain is.  Sorry.  One word...vacuous.  Aaaand she has managed to get a half-scream in on a ballad.  I'm confused...is she an artist or just a crazy person?  I'm not sure, but I'm leaning towards the latter.  And trust me, I know crazy.

Lee DeWyze - "Hey Jude".  Started off a little rough, but that's what I like about his voice.  He's doing pretty good, until..........the bagpipe dude?  What in the world?  That kinda creeped me out.  Simon totally had it right, it was like he turned up on the wrong show!  That aside, I like Lee, but he ended up kind of shouting the song.  It reminded me of a bar band doing their final song of the night.  Well, hypothetically speaking.  I of course have never seen a bar band, and for sure have never been around for their last song.  But if I ever had, in my very distant past, I can imagine it would have sounded something like that.  Eh-hem.

Best of the night:  Casey, my Casey - with Crystal a very close second.

Vote off prediction:  Siobhan. 

Love

It's why He came. 

It's why He died. 

It's why you and I were born. 

It's why we live with hope. 

And it's why we'll die with hope.

Thank You, Jesus!

American Idol - Top 10

Siobhan - oh, honey...not good.  Really, really not good.  She knows it too, you can see it in her eyes.  Poor thing.  The judges are trying to be nice about it (well, except for Simon of course.  He's about as gentle as lemon juice in a papercut.)  But do they have to go on and on?  Really.  Now she's ready to cry.  I've never been much of a fan, but if she's still around next week I hope she comes back and blows them away.

Casey - I love the song, I love how he smiles and has fun when he performs, and it's no secret that I LOVE his  raspy voice!  Helloooo!  He just pulls through week after week with excellence.  He's this year's Chris Daughtry in my opinion (and of course, it's all about my opinion.)  Phhht.

Michael - here comes the teddy bear!  I've never heard this song before, but wow, I love it.  That was beautiful!!  (Ellen just stole my words).  He sang with such passion and emotion, and that's what it's all about for me.  Absolutely beautiful.  Loved the guitar too.

Didi - oh, I love her so much, but this just isn't working for her tonight.  It doesn't fit her style, doesn't showcase her voice, and even the look isn't really "her".  I'm with Kara...I'm confused.  This was way out of character for her.  Even so, I'm still a fan and I hope she comes back next week....Ok, what's up with Ryan and wanting her to explain why she chose the song???  She obviously didn't want to talk about it and he just kept pushing it until she cried!  Wow, Ryan, way to be a jerk - gosh!

Tim - oh no.  Sitting on the stairs...way cheesey.  And when he wasn't closing his eyes he looked a little bit Charlie Manson with his eyes all wide staring into the camera like that.  Kinda creeped me out.

Velma - not bad, but he sounded better in practice.  I know he's popular, but I've just never gotten it about him.  There's just something weird going on there. (Maybe the bouffant hair?)

Katie - uh boy, she's going to try another Aretha song.  Yep.  It's just as bad as I thought it would be.  It's hard to concentrate on her voice tho with those humungo hoop earrings flapping around and distracting me. 

Lee - this is going to be good.  Yep it's good.  Amazing in fact.  This is sooo his style of song.  I can't believe I"m saying this but I think he's this year's Daughtry.  Sorry, Casey, but I'm going out on you....Lee ROCKED IT TONIGHT!!!   YEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!  BEST performance so far, by a mile!!! And he's so humble, love that.

I totally want to go out and buy some Degree Naturals deodorant and some Midol now, just because of their commercials.  I could smell good while I sleep amongst beautiful flowers.  Nice.

Crystal - let's go, girl.  Bring it.  Love the piano, and she's so into this song.......awe, now she got up and started "performing".  Ugh.  Not the style I love about her, but know what, she can sing and she's showing her versatility and true talent even outside of her norm.  (Deep breath).  I love what Ellen said "you're never not good!"  So true - she's the strongest girl this year for sure.  She might just win and if she does, I'll be happy!  I do however completely agree with Simon...she should stay true to herself and her style. 

Doogie Howser - I kind of forgot that he's still even in it.  He's trying so hard and he's got a good voice, but oh, sweetie, please don't rock your head like that.  I know I know I know the teenie boppers prolly really love you, but this may be your last week.  But thank you anyway - the song reminded me of my Kris from last year, and that makes me smile!

Best of the night:  Lee KNOCKED IT OUT!
Vote off prediction:  I'm going with Siobhan.
Quote of the evening:  "Would you have still married me if my name was Vince Goobernots?" - Mr. Wonderful

Really love

What does it mean to love? 

I should be able to write the book on that.  I'm a mom.  Moms love.  And I'm a wife.  Wives love.  It's what we do, it's who we are, and it fuels everything we do.  The heart of a mom and a wife is the one earthly place where everyone should feel secure, complete, and loved...right?  I'm learning the hard way that it's not that easy. 

God has been working on my heart lately. He is teaching me how to love. Really love.  Especially when it's difficult. When, despite the veracity of love I have for my husband and our kids, and all the ways I try to show it, they sometimes don't see it and they feel unloved anyway.  That can be discouraging, it breaks my heart, and causes me to have all kinds of doubts about myself.  If I really love my husband and our kids (and I do), then why sometimes do they feel unloved?  It has to be because I am failing them in some way...at least that's what I all too often tell myself.  I'm failing them...failing to show them the love that I have in my heart, failing to heal their hurts and meet their deepest needs.  Or worse yet, maybe deep down in the heart of my heart I don't really love them the way I want to or think I do?  How ugly would that be if it were true? 

These are some of the things that go running through my mind in my darkest moments - and trust me, running through my mind with the lights off is not a safe place to be : /  Can you say land mine? 

Sometimes I get in my own way and find it hard to love...when I'm too focused on myself and my own needs.  Or when I am trying to show my love but my efforts seem fruitless and through tear filled eyes, and a heart that has been hurt, I hear the words (spoken or not) "I hate you.  You're not good enough.  You're not what I need.  You're not my mom.  You're not....you're not...." 

It's in those moments when I feel defeated.  Defeated by the very thing that draws me to them - love.  It's then that I need to look beyond myself.  I need to look past them, and meet eyes with the One who is standing over their shoulder...

Jesus.

I hear him saying "Do it unto me". When the person I am called to love is not accepting mine.  When they are unloving. Unworthy. As I so often am. I need to look past them and see Jesus. To keep my eyes on the Author of love, Himself. It softens my heart and motivates me to love the (sometimes) unlovable. To forgive the unforgivable.

Even if that person is me.

Because that is what Christ does for me, everyday.

American Idol - Top 12!

Not so much excited about the Rollingstones theme, but we'll see what happens.  It's so much cooler when the artist is actually there working with the contestants.  I hope they do that this year...bring on Barry Manilow!

Michael Lynche - I really, really like Michael, but I don't know...this performance didn't really do anything for me.  Maybe it was just the song, because the MAN can SING!  I can't really critique him for anything because I thought he did a good job, but it was missing the "wow" factor for me.  But seeing him with his little baby girl just made my heart melt....still a fan.

Didi Benami - Oh man, I love her more and more each week.  I love how she changes her voice...I don't know how else to describe it.  She is so talented and I love her unique style.  It was a really eerie song, and she did it with passion.  Awesome!

Casey James - Uh oh, Hellooooo!  Hot guitar!  Even hotter vocals!  I love his bluesy / country style.  He is SO going to win this thing!!!

Lacey Brown - Wow, she's a christian and a worship singer!   That makes me really want to like her, but as much as I want to, I can't make her voice not annoy me.  Hmmph.  I loved the orchestra tho.  Simon told her there was "nothing wrong" with her performance.  I don't think there is anything worse to hear than that...it's kind of like being told by your husband that you look "nice".

Katie Stevens - Eh...

Tim Urban - Uh boy....yawn.  I feel like turning the channel.  What's the deal tonight??

Siobhan Magnus - I seriously dozed off during her performance.  Somebody help me here.

Lee Dewyze - ok, I'm awake now!   One word....YEA!!!!  That was amazing, loved it!! 

come on Crystal..........waiting to see what you've got tonight! 

Paige - sorry, hunny but I was tucking my kids in bed.  Didn't hear you sing.

Aaron Kelly - he's not bad, but not even close to the same calibre as Casey or Crystal.  I'm pretty surprised that the judges were fawning all over him.

Crystal Bowersox - yes, baby girl you saved the night!!!  She's amazing...loved how she walked out playing her guitar - so comfortable and relaxed and very very cool.  She stole the night, in my opinion...after my Casey, of course!

OH wait, I forgot about Velma...er, I mean Andrew Garcia.   That's ok, not a fan. 

I saw enough of Paige's performance in the recap to say that she's my vote off prediction for the night.

American Idol - Top 8 Guys!

YESSSSS!  I'm excited tonight!  I rushed home after taking the kids out for supper because I thought it started at 7pm....that's ok, we had an extra hour to play before it started.  And now..........it started!!!

Lee Dewyze - He's not real polished, but that's ok for me - he has an awesome voice!  Lots of emotion in his voice and on his face, he really gets into his music and I love that kind of passion.

Alex Lampert - That was cool, I actually liked it.  Alot.  I have to confess that I was on the phone during his performance so he didn't have my complete attention, but what I heard I thought was really good!  He's got a unique style. 

Tim Urban - Three words AH-MA-ZING!!!  That was completely awesome!!!  So heartfelt, great song, beautiful.  And I love that Ellen ran up and gave him a hug, that was cute.

Oh, this is so FUN tonight!  If I weren't sitting on the couch with my laptop on my lap (and lazy) I would get up and do a happy dance right now! 

Andrew Garcia - I love all the guitars tonight, but Andrew is not impressing me.  Pretty weak.  Genie in a Batto?  Hmmm...just my opinion, but if someone is going to be a singer shouldn't they be able to pronounce words correctly?

Here we go with the finger numbers again....good grief.

Ok, time to tuck kids in bed.  Hopefully tonight I will not traumatize them by threatening to kill one of our pets like I did last night.  I'm still sighing about that. 

Casey James - I am running out of words to adequately describe his awesomeness.  Truly, I can't believe that the judges are so critical of him.  He is blowing everyone else away, honestly.

Aaron Kelly - He's so cute.  Seems out of breath, tho - nervous maybe?  Sappy song, and I don't really buy it coming from him.  He seems like he's trying too hard and it's just not that believable for me tonight.   I can't believe I'm saying this but I totally agree with Kara, he's 16 and that song didn't fit him.  He was flat in some spots too.  I don't know, the audience seems to like him, but he's my vote off prediction for tonight so far. 

Ok....the judges are fauning all over him, after telling Casey that he was just "ok?"  I'm almost ticked now.

Todrick  is next....uh boy.  He bugs me.  Oh my gosh.....I"m annoyed already and his arrogant self just started.  He's going to sing Freddie Mercury?  Or Adam Lampert?  Puleeze.  Oh stand up already, I'm going to puke.  And how did they get the backup singers from Lawrence Welk to sing on here?  Wow. 

Um, excuse me Simon, but "boring performances with people sitting on stools playing guitar???"  Those are my favorite!!! 

Michael Lynch - Oh, I love this song so much.  And YEAAAA !!!  He's knockin it out of the park!!!  He should totally be a gospel singer!  Beautiful!  Everything about his performance was incredible.  Oh my, Kara is crying. I must look away.

Tonight was awesome and went way too fast.

Getting voted off....I think it will be Aaron and Andrew (but I'm secretly hoping they get rid of Tod"ego"rick).

Best of the night....Casey and Michael all the way!

American Idol - top 8 girls

It's girls night?  AAAK!  I was looking forward to seeing the guys.  Sigh.  Oh well....

Katie Stevens - Well, at least she moved out of the songs that made her sound like a 40 year old.....but, oh my.  It's not so good.  She was flat and just, yea.  Not so much.

Siobhan Magnus - the slow talker....SORRY!  I know, I know, it's a singing competition.  Well now she is singing and WOW!!  Killer acapella!!!  WHOA ~ that was awesome!!!  Excellent vocal control, and she hit every note dead on!

Sidenote...so why didn't Katie have an interview prior to singing?  They just sent her out there on stage with no warning at all.

Lacey Brown - Yep.  Just as annoying as last week.  Maybe more, if that's possible.

Dear American Idol contestants,
Please stop holding your fingers up while Ryan is reading your phone number to everyone after your performance.  It makes you look really dumb and pathetic.  If people want to vote for you, they'll get your number off the screen at the end of the show.  And since they are watching the show, I'm pretty sure they can read.  And hear.  So your fingers aren't helping.  That is all.

Katelyn Epperly - on the keyboards, hello!  Hmmm...I want to love it more than I do.  Is she really playing piano, or just finger-syncing it?  I can barely hear the piano and she looks like she's fake playing.  Not special.

Yawn....

Didi Benami- YEA!!!  I LOVE her voice, and she did absolutely FANTASTIC with that song!!!!! 

Paige (thegirlwho'sgettingvotedoffthisweek) Miles - Gag.

Crystal Bowersox- One word...WOW!  Keep the dreds if you wanna, baby girl, you are IN-CREDIBLE!!!!!  LOVED that!!!  AND she didn't do that stupid number thing with her fingers - amen!

I still laugh every time I see that Minute Maid commercial where the teacher shocks the bunny with the balloons :)

Lilly Scott - I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond to her performance but I've been sitting here on the couch with my mouth hanging open.  What.  The.  World.  Was.  That?  It was beyond weird.

Well, that's it.  In summary:  Siobhan rocked, Didi ROCKED, Crystal RAH-HOCKED tonight !!!!!!

Now, bring on the guys tomorrow night!

American Idol - Top 10 Girls

I just have to know, what's up with the long scarves on the guys?  Andrew wore one last night, and Michael has one on tonight in the audience.  Interesting. 

Anyway, sittin' here on the couch with my sweetie again, this time folding laundry and waiting for Idol to start.  Watched the last 3 minutes of "Two and a Half Men" and am reminded again why that show is banned in our house.  I can't believe that smut is allowed on tv at 7pm!

Ok, here we gooooo!!!

Crystal Bowersox - Really really like her personality....now she's singing and YEAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Love love love the song, and her gravely, soulful voice!  Little bit Jewel, little bit Patty Griffin...she's natural and genuine.  Amazing!  She should lose the dreds tho, but that's just me. 

Haeley Vaugh - Ok, I'm sorry, I just have to say it.  She has a lisp.  Has no one noticed this?  She is really sweet and cute and everything, but I'm very surprised that she has made it this far.  Vocals were really bad.  She's my vote-off prediction for this week.

Lacey Brown - I'm trying really, really hard to find something about her that doesn't completely and utterly annoy me.  Nasally, whiney voice?  nope.  Finger in the light socket hairdo?  um, no.  Poofy zebra shirt with eighty necklaces?  Fake fake fake. 

Katie Stevens - She's cute and funny and weird and she laughs at herself, and I love that.  She has a pretty voice, but it's not nearly powerful enough. Just eh for me.

Commercial break....and I'm kinda bored so far.  Crystal was the only one that I've enjoyed tonight.  However, I have been utterly entertained by our children - Hope and Kyle - who called me outside to watch them rollerblading down the driveway, bent over with their hands behind their backs like olympic speed skaters. That was so immensely cute that I didn't have the heart to yell at Kyle for being outside in shorts - even though it is like 29 degrees out. 

Didi  Benami - Oh my, I love her!  She prays and meows - how many people can say that?  She has a fantastic voice and I know she's going to be awesome......YEP, she is!!!  LOVE love love what she's doing with this song!  She is unique, and totally my fav so far (for the girls).  Really surprised at Randy, Kara and Simon's criticism.  They can just shut it, she did good.

Michelle Delamor - Ok, weird song choice for a girl??  Weak voice, not impressed.  She does look good tho, so I agree with the judges on that one.

Blaaaah...still bored. 

Time to tuck the kids in bed!  They just finished their showers and Kyle made himself a Jimmy Neutron/Ace Ventura mowhawk.  Ok then.  His hair should look quite interesting in the morning. 

Lilly Scott - One word.  Ick.

Commercial break again...time for a brownie :)

Katelyn Epperly -  WOW!  She was awesome!  Loooove the piano (white baby grand.....mhm), and I thought she did fantastic.  I love how she played the piano so simply.  And if they ever decide to turn this into a gong show, they wouldn't have to purchase a gong, they could just use one of her earrings.  Bonus.

Paige Miles - Likes to....color?  Hmmph.  Not sure I would have chosen that to tell America about myself.  Well, guess what....the girl can sing!!!  AWESOME song choice.  She's not my favorite, but she's good and I think she has a chance at being in the top few.

Victoria Secret girls again?  Seriously, those commercials are one step away from pornography.

Siobhan Magnus - Great song and she can sing, but she can't pull off Aretha.  Vince disagrees with me, tho, after that high note - he loved it!  That was brave of her, so I'll give her that.  I have to agree with Simon, parts of the song were bad and parts were amazing, so we'll see how she does after tonight.

Overall......bring on the guys!

American Idol - Top 10 Guys

It's my favorite show!  I wait for it all year, and it's the only thing I watch faithfully.  It's been really fun so far watching all the auditions, and I have to say I'm so glad that they didn't let any idiots through this year (remember Sanjaya and Tatianna?  Good grief.) 

They're down to the top 20 this week, woo hoo!  This is when it starts to get good and I start really paying attention.  So, here I am snuggin' on the couch with my sweetie, watching AI and deciding to type my play by play commentary live, as it happens.  Try to contain your excitement :)  Here we go!

Michael Lynche - he's just cute.  A big teddy bear (I love big teddy bears - especially mine:)  Love his story, and he can sing!

John Park - snoozer.

Casey James - he's been my prediction as this year's winner ever since I saw him in the auditions - LOVE HIM!!!  Yea!!!!  Awesome guitar!  Love his voice - except this song didn't really showcase it.    I like how he handled the criticism from Kara (gag) and Simon, even though I don't agree with it.  He seems humble, which I really like.  Arrogance is such a turn-off in an artist! 

Alex Lambert - This kid is actually pretty good!  Surprised me.  Kind of Michael Buble'ish with a hint of country.  Falsetto, not so much - but otherwise I like his little gravelly voice and I think he'll be around for a while.

Commercial break....my favorites from years past have always been the guys.  Kris Allen, Danny Gokey, Chris Daughtry (totally robbed), David Cook, Justin Guarini, Taylor Hicks.  Brooke White was awesome, too!

Back to the show...

Todrick Hall - Ick already.  He's arrogant and full of himself.  And he hasn't even sang yet.  Bad bad bad song arrangement.  Flat vocals.  Cheesey.  I predict he's getting voted off.

Jermaine Sellers - whah????  "dey know what dey talkin bout?"  And did he really just say "Jesus is my homeboy?"  Seriously...where is the mute button.

Andrew Garcia - I like him.  Nice attitude.  Nice song.  Interesting voice, I hear a little Danny in him.  I don't think he'll win, but he's not bad.

Aaron Kelly - awe, what a cutie!  Great song, but I don't really like what he did with it.  You're good for sixteen, honey, but you lost me at falsetto.

Commercial break again....really?  Do they need to have Victoria Secret commercials with women in their bras and underwear?  Oh dear, I don't have enough hands to shield all the boys' eyes from this. 

Tim Urban - He prays, yay!  Great song for him.  I like him and for once, yay Simon!

Lee Dewyze  - I like him.  Alot.  I love that he cried when he was put through to the finals!  Love his acoustic, rough voice.  I hate that song, though (it's about cheating).  But he is passionate and intense and he sang it really well.

So, there ya go!  This was fun :)  Time for some AFV with my boys...

Did I just post three times in one day?  Yes, yes I did.

Running

I hear the voice, the voice of the One I love
He’s calling my name.
I hear the voice, the voice of the One I love,
He's calling my name, He's saying…

"Come up higher and hear the angels sing
Come up higher, my beloved
Come up higher and leave this world behind
You'll find Me to be beautiful."

I am running, running after You
You've become my soul’s delight
I am running, running after You
Here with You I find my life.

One thing I desire, this will I seek after
To dwell in Your house forevermore
Now I'm running after the thing that really matters
You've become my joy and song.