Latte's, working out, and why I shouldn't be blogging

I shouldn't be blogging, it's 8:45pm and time for me to go to bed.  But it's also Wednesday and I am committed to doing a weekly update so here goes.  

This week has been a bit empowering.  I got an espresso maker and I am officially obsessed with it.  The reason I got it was because I love latte's, latte's are expensive, and there is a Starbucks in the clinic where I work.  IN the clinic.  Where I work.  A STARBUCKS!!!  

Instead of buying a latte as an occasional treat, I was getting one nearly everyday because THERE IS A STARBUCKS IN THE BUILDING WHERE I WORK.  And I've been working there for nearly four months, so you do the math.  

So now I'm the proud owner of my very own espresso maker, which I have to say is one of the best purchases I've ever made.  It's not only economical (should pay for itself in a month or two), but much healthier than the coffee I used to make with tons of artificial creamer.  Just espresso, soy milk and stevia...boom!  And they are heavenly.

I have also started working out in the mornings.  

At 5:15am.  

Yes, you read that correctly.  

I am getting up at 5:15 in the actual AM, working out, doing my devotions, and then getting ready for work.  It's been amazing!  I'm doing "Beach Body" workouts, "Barre Blend" to be exact.  It's a combination of barre ballet, pilates, yoga, and interval cardio training.  I'm pretty clunky about it so far, but in the spirit of my new commitment to being ok with not being perfect, I'm embracing it and considering it a success.

So that's it.  Short and sweet so I can get to bed relatively on time to get my 8 1/2 hours of sleep in (probably only 8 tonight...but again, ok with not being perfect).  

Oh yea...some examples of me winning this week with food:

It always comes back to coffee, friends, and Jesus

One of the things I have missed about working in Winona was having coffee with friends after work.  Caribou and Blooming Grounds are my go-to places when I want to get comfy and talk with a good friend, or blog, or watch a bible study video (hello, Beth Moore!)  Today I got to do all three :)  

My day was going just kind of "eh", until I got a message from my friend Becky and 20 minutes later I was in my car on my way to Caribou for a couple hours.  It was nice!  Girlfriend time, bible study, and I wasn't mad about my iced caramel latte either.

It continues to be a challenge for me each day to not feel guilty about not having a job.  I have to remind myself, sometimes multiple times a day (or an hour) that God has ordained this time for me for a purpose.  He has me home right now, and my job is to seek Him.  To let go of my own feelings and self-imposed expectations, and seek His will for my life right now, each day.

Instead of focusing on his "big" will for my life (should I work or stay home?) I am asking Him to show me what He wants me to accomplish in this day.  The little, everyday opportunities that He places before me - I ask Him to help me see them and guide me through them.  How can I be a blessing today to my husband and kids, our family and friends, and even those I don't know personally?  Whenever I ask God to show me opportunities to be a blessing to others, I find my day is sprinkled with them. It's so fun!

I am learning to embrace the reality that I don't have to know what the future looks like right now.  And it's so freeing!  I know that I will know eventually, when God reveals it to me in His own way and time.  One thing I do know for sure right now...it will be good!

Hiding and going home

I don't want to go home.

I mean, I really like our home.  Love it, actually.  And the people in it.  I love them too.  And the dog.  Most of the time, the dog.  

But right now I'm hiding here...

Coffee shop hiding is one of my favorite things to do when I don't want to go home.  It's not that I don't want to be there per se, or be around my people.  I just sometimes need to be somewhere where I can relax without distractions.  Where I don't feel pulled toward the dishes or the vacuum or the laundry or the people.  Or the dog.  I can just be, and think my thoughts.  And drink my coffee.

Things are changing.  And I'm not always a big fan of change.

I've been trying to deny it, or avoid it, but the truth is in the next six months we might very well have an empty nest.  Our season of raising children and being a family all in the same house is coming to an end.  

There.  I said it.  

And I'm having kind of a hard time dealing with it. 

For almost half my life I have been a wife and mother.  It has defined who I am, probably too much so at times but I couldn't help it.  Being a mom has been the greatest joy of my life.  Our house has always been full of kids and toys and noise and stuff and love and messes and stresses and tears and fun.  And sarcasm.  We can't forget the sarcasm.   I'll admit, there have been times, many times, when it has been too much.  That thing about "God won't give you more than you can handle" - yea, that ain't true.  He does.  He did with me.  Six kids - six loud and opinionated and stubborn and challenging and wonderfully amazing kids, in between the joy and the hugs and the laughter have sometimes been more than I could handle. I used to yearn for quiet and would sometimes lock myself in the bathroom or flop myself on my bed just to get a moment of it.  Slowly, as each of our kids have launched, the house has gotten a little bit quieter.  Now it's the quietest it's ever been and it feels...strange.  

Vince and I have done things backwards from most couples.  We've been together almost 12 years and we've never been alone.  We started out with kids...lots of them...ranging in age from 5-17.  We've been just a tad bit busy and it's never been just us.  It's our turn now, and I'm really happy about that part of all this!  Vince and I have a lot to look forward to together and are working on our bucket list :)  But the other part of me, the mom part, is a little bit sad.  Sometimes a lot sad and I'm not sure how to feel about that.  Or what to do with those feelings that I can't really even define yet.  

Kyle and Hope, our babies, are graduating soon and making plans for their futures.  They are getting ready to launch, but truth be told I'm not ready to let them go.  I'm excited for them, I am!  But also terrified.  The past couple years have been hard, for them and for us.  Probably the hardest of all our parenting years and we have been so consumed with getting them through, that I haven't been able to really process and accept that they are actually moving on into adulthood soon.  I think that's why it is taking me by surprise.  

And taking my breath away.  

And causing me to hide in coffee shops.

But then this guy shows up...

...and makes it all better.  He reminds me that we are in this together.  And we will get through the hard days and the hard feelings and the hard things just like we have always done.  With faith and hope and love.  He makes me not want to sit here alone anymore.  

He makes me want to go home.

Just today

I have a companion for my coffee shop therapy time today!

Things I love about this weekend besides my new planner

My new planner is here!  My new planner is here!  I'm SOMEBODY now!! (Insert dancing emoji).

It came this week and I'm already sufficiently obsessed with it.  It's probably my favorite one ever.  I know I've said that before, but well, just look at how adorable...

And I had to splurge on the optional sticker pack because, just... 

yep.

Call me old school (go ahead say it, punk!)  (just kidding).  But I have to have a paper planner.  I've tried the electronic calendar on my phone and ipad, but I found it more complicated and takes more time and energy than just pulling out my planner, whipping it open and writing it down like a human.  It's worth carrying around in my purse.

Schedules, goals, to-do lists, notes and pockets for stuff...it's not just a planner, 

it's a way of life, people.  

I filled in the goal page during my coffee shop therapy time yesterday and now I feel inspired.
How often do we really write down things like this?  We think them, but there is something about writing things out on paper and looking at it often that increases my focus and gets me motivated to make it happen.

I could have kept going with the list, but these are what came out of me spontaneously yesterday, which I find is the best way to write goals.  Listen to your heart, whatever comes spilling out first without overthinking it.

Other things I love about this weekend:

Rainy days and cuddles on the couch
Steaks on the grill by the dubs
A husband who does the laundry every weekend
Fresh baked cookies (even if it is frozen fundraiser cookie dough, still good)
Coffee dates with my girl, and my sis-in-law
Conversations with my boy who was actually home for much of the weekend
Sunday afternoon naps :)
Lazy dogs

Icecream, coffee, 80's music and black lights

What do all these things have in common?  A fun weekend!

It was a beautiful Saturday, our teenagers were both working, so it was the perfect recipe for a date day!  Vince and I had lunch at Acoustic (of which I took no pictures - gah!).  After that we were in the mood for some coffee and icecream, so we decided to take a little road trip.  Rushford is a cute little town with big character.  It sits in a bowl, a valley surrounded by bluffs, so there is beautiful scenery wherever you look.

You can't see it in the picture, but on the side of the hill it says Rushford spelled out in white rock...just like we have in Rollingstone.

I had heard great things about the icecream here over the years, so we decided to give it a try.  They did NOT disappoint!

All the rumors are true...their icecream is delish!

We both want to come back sometime and try their pizza because I've heard good things about that too.  

They said nothing about unattended husbands?!

Downtown Rushford is also home to one of my favorite local coffee shops... 

I've been here a couple times before, but this was Vince's first time.  It's worth the drive :)

Sunday!!  

Vince, Trevor, Hope and I went to MOA!  It was great having Trev with us, those days don't happen very often anymore with our busy schedules.  

We started the day off at my favorite MOA restaurant...Johnny Rockets!

Trevor's big idea was the hit of the afternoon...black light minigolf!

I think I was the most excited of all of us about the black light effect :)  

I kept saying "I love my shoes!! and kept making everyone look at them.

80's music + 80's theme'd artwork + this girl = SO MUCH FUN!