Sunday, October 27, 2013

American Idol and my big accomplishment for the day

Not that I am counting or anything, but it's 11 weeks, 3 days, and 2 hours until Season 13 of American Idol starts. 

About that.  I'm a wee bit excited.  Last year we were "fasting" from cable so I didn't see it at all.  AT ALL.  I don't think I saw even one episode.  Well, all the anticipation from last year's hiatus must have accumulated and multiplied because right now I'm PUUUUUUMPED!!  Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban, and now....Harry Connick Jr.???  I can't think of a better panel.  So much awesomeness.  I hope my internet friend (I imagine that we are friends anyway) BooMama does a live blog party during Idol this year like she has before.  It was so much fun! 

So, aside from getting a few loads of laundry done, running the dishwasher, and taking out my bathroom garbage, my big accomplishment for the day was to rescue my candle.  This is my favorite candle in the ENTIRE world.  I know I have mentioned it before several times (it used to be called Campfire Marshmallow, but they changed the name last year).  It is quite possibly my most favorite smell (with the possible exception of Vince's cologne but I won't be gross). 

The wick had some problems, it had gotten off center and was buried in black chunky stuff.  So I did some surgery with the new tool I just got that trims wicks (candles are important to me, don't judge) and to make an already long and boring story shorter, I doctored it up and now it is burning beautifully, with a clean and centered wick, and I am very happy about it.  Vince called me the "Candle Whisperer". 

And in my quest to find a picture on Google images, I came across this amazing creation and I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO DO THIS!!! 

That is all.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Not My Blog: Comfort Edition

New look, new day, new inspiration from this blog that I just stumbled upon this morning.  Happy Saturday!  Now, time for coffee...

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Why I could just puke on myself

I had a revelation today.  A huge one, actually.  It was one of those life-changing moments that made me pause in my mental tracks and say, "whoa".  It all started with the book I am reading right now...

It is so good. amazing that I began having my revelation while I was still reading the introduction.  When that happens, I know it's going to be good!  The book is about a Christian mom (a very funny one, which is always a plus in my eyes) who took herself and her family and a group of friends on a journey to let God teach them about the excess in their lives.  The purpose of the journey was to empty some space that is typically occupied with "stuff", and make room for the Holy Spirit to move in their hearts.

So as I began reading last night, I started to realize something that I have kind of known, but somehow this time it just slapped me in the face:  I am so pampered!  I am a spoiled brat. And so are you, by the way.  We all are, those of us who live in this country of plenty.  Plenty of food, everywhere.  Comfort, luxury in fact, abounds all around us.  We are so used to it that we don't even see it.  We crave comfort, and it is smothering us.  We want to be just the right temperature...not too hot, not too cold.  We want comfy chairs and comfy beds and comfy clothes and comfy cars and comfy jobs and comfy faith and comfy lives.  We have all this, and we have the audacity to want more. 

So...with that realization smacking me around this morning, I began praying for God to show me what to do about it.  I mean, it's not my fault that I live here, right?  This is the society we live in, this is our reality.  It's not like I can just sell everything and move to Africa and be poor, as if that would somehow accomplish something spiritual.  That's not what God is calling me to do right now. 

So, what is He asking of me?  What am I supposed to do with this new revelation? 

Bless others.  It's that simple.  Use the gifts and talents and the abundance of blessings He has given me to bless others.  BING!  That's it.

So right there in my bedroom this morning I asked Him, begged Him to show me how, rather than heaping my blessings up on myself and those whom I know and love who are already blessed.  We spend so much time "blessing the blessed", and ignoring the poor.  The orphans.  The widows.  The lonely.  The desperate.   The lost.  They are everywhere.  And they are waiting.

But I don't have time for all that.  I have a family to raise and a full time job and a life and everything...I am so overwhelmed, how can I possibly do more, God?

That is exactly what satan wants me to think.  Every time I start to have a desire to reach out to others, he says "it's time to get her busy". 

I am so sick of hearing me say "I'm too busy" that I could just puke on myself!

So as I got ready for work this morning, I asked God to help me stop being "too busy".  To stop filling my mind with my own thoughts and listen to His voice, the voice that whispers as it leads.  And much to my surprise, my day was sprinkled with opportunities.  Opportunities to be a blessing to others.  So many opportunities, and instead of ignoring them or letting them overwhelm me or grieve my heart, I listened. 
"Go sit with him, have your breakfast with him and talk."

"Don't rush...listen to her.  Your other work can wait."

"Put lotion on his hands."

"Ask her if she knows Jesus."

"Go talk to him...yea, it's an hour past his bedtime and he's still messing around.  But he wants to talk to you.  Don't worry about the time, just go."

And in each of these opportunities, I listened. And something happened.  Something miraculous. 

I made a difference.

I can't wait for tomorrow.  For more opportunities to listen to God's voice and respond.  It's so easy, it's so worth it.  And I will not be too busy. 

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Panic attacks, deep breathing, and my all-time favorite smell

Campfire Marshmallow.  It's my favorite smell in the world right now.  IN THE WORLD.  Seriously, I can't even tell you.  I've had the candle burning in the kitchen for most of the day and it is emanating throughout the whole house, making it smell so yummy!  I discovered this heavenly smelling candle at Pieces of The Past (my favorite store in downtown Winona) years ago and I told Vince today that if he ever wonders what to get me for Christmas or my birthday or you know, Thursday...he could get me anything "campfire marshmallow" and I will be very happy.  It's been a lazy kind of Saturday.  Well, I've been keeping myself very busy all day so lazy isn't the right word I guess, but I've been home all day with no where that I needed to go and I loved it.  My day was filled with laundry, cleaning, some Casting Crowns, kale chips (gross...although Hope loved them) and a little piano.  I am learning how to play a new song "I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin, which is my new favorite worship song right now. 

Lord knows I need me some worship music to help me maintain what's left of my sanity.

Nick is driving now. 

Deep cleansing breath.

Yes, my baby is driving.  He has his license and his own car and his own mind and everything.  And I am having some trouble adjusting. 

It's not that I don't want him to grow up, or that I'm not excited for him or immensely proud of him.  I am all those things!  I think what's hard about this for me is the not knowing.  And the independence.  And the being out of my sight for longer than I'd like.  And the driving.  Mostly, yea it's the driving.  The driving on the roads with the other cars and the dark  and the wind and the rain and the cell phone which I have made him promise and swear and threatened him not to even think about while he's driving.

Deep cleansing breath.

I try not to worry, really I do.  Ok, no I don't.  I worry a lot.  Which, I know shows lack of faith.  But I struggle with trusting because I can pray for God to protect my children from harm, but there are no guarantees.  Bad things happen.  To Christians even.  Christians who pray.  We ask God for protection and bad things happen anyway sometimes.  That's my fear.  Like now, for instance.  Nick is at a friend's house in a small town near here with a group of other teenage drivers who have all gathered at this friend's house to "hang out".  I told him to call at 10:45 when he is supposed to leave to come home so I know exactly when my panic attack can commence and approximately how long it will last so I can prepare accordingly. Still 75 minutes away.

Deep cleansing breath.

And wine.

It's not just a fear that something bad will happen that I struggle with.  It goes deeper than that.  I am also afraid, maybe even more afraid, that if something very bad did actually happen I would be so angry and disillusioned with God that I'm not sure what effect that would have on me, and my faith.  Oh dear.  I need to give this to God.  Really, I do. 

Give it to God...yes I know.  Let go and let it.  God grant me the serenity...memorized that one years ago.  Most of the things we worry about don't happen...oh shut it.  Really, I know all that.  In my head.  I'm just having trouble convincing my heart.