Wake her up from a deep, calm sleep by yelling "AAAAAH!! AAAAAH!!! AAAAAH!!!" super loud while dreaming about scaring your sister (really???) because that is totally normal for a 52 year old to still dream about.
How to irritate your wife at 4:02 am: Fall peacefully back to sleep whilst your wife sits wide awake next to you waiting for her heart rate to return to normal, and decides to blog about ridiculously unnecessary things such as this because it's been a while....not since something ridiculous and unnecessary has happened, but since she's blogged about it.
Showing posts with label Ridiculously unnecessary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ridiculously unnecessary. Show all posts
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Monday, June 06, 2011
Unbelievably ridiculous and unnecessary
And I thought this was bad.
What's even more annoying than birds chirping outside our bedroom window at 5am? I'll tell you what. A cat caterwauling (aka making a really loud obnoxious sound) in our yard at 4AM!!
I just have one word for that. Actually I have lots of words for that, but only one that I will share...
Seriously.
Needless to say, we were not happy to be awakened by this noise at 4 O'CLOCK IN THE EVER LOVIN' AM. Then once I fell back asleep I got to dream about someone trying to kill me. Nice. And Vince was all cool about it (in my dream, hopefully I'd get a better reaction out of him in real life). It was some teenage kid living in our house (who incidently bore NO resemblance whatsoever to any of the teenage kids who actually live in our house, just to clarify).
Whoever he was, and for whatever reason he was living in my house and wanted to kill me, this kid was relentless. And I have to say, despite Mr. W's apparent apathy toward it all, I was a genius at thwarting each of his plans. He tried setting up a machine gun, but I took all the bullets. He tried making me sniff three different chemicals, but I plugged my nose. I even went and told his parents, who were at a party and just laughed at me.
I'm not sure why I dreamt all of this. Maybe it was a direct result of the cat incident and Vince's comment as he shut our window at 4 O'CLOCK IN THE EVER LOVIN' AM...
"That cat needs to be shot".
You may not know this about me, but I am really good at interpretting dreams, so here goes. The way I see it, this particular dream could mean one of three things...
1) Someone is indeed planning to kill me and I am subconsciously warning myself in my dream.
2) The teenagers who actually do live in our home sometimes sound like screaming cats in heat.
3) I am the cat.
There is also a 4th possible interpretation of my dream, and that is that I need therapy.
What's even more annoying than birds chirping outside our bedroom window at 5am? I'll tell you what. A cat caterwauling (aka making a really loud obnoxious sound) in our yard at 4AM!!
I just have one word for that. Actually I have lots of words for that, but only one that I will share...
Seriously.
Needless to say, we were not happy to be awakened by this noise at 4 O'CLOCK IN THE EVER LOVIN' AM. Then once I fell back asleep I got to dream about someone trying to kill me. Nice. And Vince was all cool about it (in my dream, hopefully I'd get a better reaction out of him in real life). It was some teenage kid living in our house (who incidently bore NO resemblance whatsoever to any of the teenage kids who actually live in our house, just to clarify).
Whoever he was, and for whatever reason he was living in my house and wanted to kill me, this kid was relentless. And I have to say, despite Mr. W's apparent apathy toward it all, I was a genius at thwarting each of his plans. He tried setting up a machine gun, but I took all the bullets. He tried making me sniff three different chemicals, but I plugged my nose. I even went and told his parents, who were at a party and just laughed at me.
I'm not sure why I dreamt all of this. Maybe it was a direct result of the cat incident and Vince's comment as he shut our window at 4 O'CLOCK IN THE EVER LOVIN' AM...
"That cat needs to be shot".
You may not know this about me, but I am really good at interpretting dreams, so here goes. The way I see it, this particular dream could mean one of three things...
1) Someone is indeed planning to kill me and I am subconsciously warning myself in my dream.
2) The teenagers who actually do live in our home sometimes sound like screaming cats in heat.
3) I am the cat.
There is also a 4th possible interpretation of my dream, and that is that I need therapy.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Who needs an alarm clock when you have loud and ridiculously obnoxious birds living right outside your bedroom window, which you forget to close when you go to bed?
Yeah.
Such was my experience in the wee hours of this morning, which is why I'm too tired to blog tonight. Sigh. Time to go to bed early!
Such was my experience in the wee hours of this morning, which is why I'm too tired to blog tonight. Sigh. Time to go to bed early!
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Packing some heat and Vince's latest kick-butt culinary creation
Would it be wrong to let my son set up his pellet gun in my bedroom window and pick off the bird that sits in our neighbor's tree and CHIRPS LIKE A FREAK every morning at 5am? Because I am SO going to let him do that one of these days. Just once we'd like to sleep with our bedroom windows open, but even with them closed this freak bird is loud enough to wake us up. Remember how ridiculously unnecessary it was two years ago when we first moved in? Yea. It still is.
I haven't wanted to kill things very often in my life. Maybe the dog. And once in a while the children. But I have a death wish for this bird and I'm pretty sure my son would be thrilled with the idea, 'specially since he already asked if he can shoot the hummingbirds that visit the feeder we have hanging above our deck. I said no, but who knows...maybe if the word got out to the birds in the neighborhood that we are packing some heat, they would be a little more respectful and let us sleep.
I was able to go back to sleep this morning, which was nice. However, once again we overslept and were not able to make it to church. GAH! I guess I should have set my alarm, but since we are usually awakened in plenty of time to get ready on Sunday mornings, either by animals or children, we have always thought it unnecessary to set an alarm. We did, however, wake up to the yummy smell of cinnamon rolls made by Nick and Vinny! They have been really interested in cooking recently, because of the mad skills they are learning in their FACS class at school. FACS stands for Family and Consumer Science which sounds much smarter than "Home Ec" but that's what it is, Home Ec. Last night they made puppy chow and a couple weeks ago they taught me how to make yummy nachos in the microwave (which launched me on a short lived nacho kick).
Ok now that I have rambled my way into talking about food (shocking, I know), the other night Mr. Wonderful made the most awesomest and yummiest burgers that I think I've ever had in my entire life! We were actually planning on going out to eat, as the kids had already eaten earlier...but after watching an episode of "Diners Drive-ins and Dives" on the Food Network and seeing these yummy burgers being made, we decided to try them ourselves, and oh. my. word. they were amazing! Vince took some house seasoning (I'll tell ya 'bout that in a minute), onion powder, and liquid smoke and mixed it into the meat. Then he made them into patties with his very cool hamburger patty press and placed them in the frying pan. I know, he usually grills them, but you'll understand why he didn't in a minute. When the burgers were just about done, he took a handful of freshly shredded colby jack cheese and piled it on each of the burgers...enough (and this is the crucial part) so that some of the cheese spilled off onto the frying pan. Then he covered the pan, and let the cheese melt onto the burger and carmelize into a nice crispy brown on the frying pan. Then he place each one on a nicely toasted bun and voila....an unbelievably yummy burger that will have you moaning like Bob Whiley did about the fried chicken in What About Bob. I'm pretty much certain that this baby won't make it into the Weight Watchers Cookbook, but it has certainly made it into Vince's repertoire of kick-butt culinary creations! Next time he makes them I'll be sure to take some pics.
* House seasoning is our favorite seasoning and we use it in almost everything we cook. I learned about it from Paula Dean - and it does not even involve "a pound a buttah"! It is simply this: 1 cup salt, 1/4 cup black pepper and 1/4 cup garlic powder. We mix it all together and keep it in our cupboard in a small tupperware container. I don't bother putting it in a shaker - just using some side-to-side motion with the container to sprinkle it on works just fine for me.
I haven't wanted to kill things very often in my life. Maybe the dog. And once in a while the children. But I have a death wish for this bird and I'm pretty sure my son would be thrilled with the idea, 'specially since he already asked if he can shoot the hummingbirds that visit the feeder we have hanging above our deck. I said no, but who knows...maybe if the word got out to the birds in the neighborhood that we are packing some heat, they would be a little more respectful and let us sleep.
I was able to go back to sleep this morning, which was nice. However, once again we overslept and were not able to make it to church. GAH! I guess I should have set my alarm, but since we are usually awakened in plenty of time to get ready on Sunday mornings, either by animals or children, we have always thought it unnecessary to set an alarm. We did, however, wake up to the yummy smell of cinnamon rolls made by Nick and Vinny! They have been really interested in cooking recently, because of the mad skills they are learning in their FACS class at school. FACS stands for Family and Consumer Science which sounds much smarter than "Home Ec" but that's what it is, Home Ec. Last night they made puppy chow and a couple weeks ago they taught me how to make yummy nachos in the microwave (which launched me on a short lived nacho kick).
I know the picture is blurry, I just noticed that. But it's to late 'cause they are so gone!
Ok now that I have rambled my way into talking about food (shocking, I know), the other night Mr. Wonderful made the most awesomest and yummiest burgers that I think I've ever had in my entire life! We were actually planning on going out to eat, as the kids had already eaten earlier...but after watching an episode of "Diners Drive-ins and Dives" on the Food Network and seeing these yummy burgers being made, we decided to try them ourselves, and oh. my. word. they were amazing! Vince took some house seasoning (I'll tell ya 'bout that in a minute), onion powder, and liquid smoke and mixed it into the meat. Then he made them into patties with his very cool hamburger patty press and placed them in the frying pan. I know, he usually grills them, but you'll understand why he didn't in a minute. When the burgers were just about done, he took a handful of freshly shredded colby jack cheese and piled it on each of the burgers...enough (and this is the crucial part) so that some of the cheese spilled off onto the frying pan. Then he covered the pan, and let the cheese melt onto the burger and carmelize into a nice crispy brown on the frying pan. Then he place each one on a nicely toasted bun and voila....an unbelievably yummy burger that will have you moaning like Bob Whiley did about the fried chicken in What About Bob. I'm pretty much certain that this baby won't make it into the Weight Watchers Cookbook, but it has certainly made it into Vince's repertoire of kick-butt culinary creations! Next time he makes them I'll be sure to take some pics.
* House seasoning is our favorite seasoning and we use it in almost everything we cook. I learned about it from Paula Dean - and it does not even involve "a pound a buttah"! It is simply this: 1 cup salt, 1/4 cup black pepper and 1/4 cup garlic powder. We mix it all together and keep it in our cupboard in a small tupperware container. I don't bother putting it in a shaker - just using some side-to-side motion with the container to sprinkle it on works just fine for me.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
It's kind of scary what some people search for
I use sitemeter to track how many people visit my blog. Besides telling me how many visitors I get and what cities and countries they are from (that's kinda cool), it also tells me how people find my blog, which I find much more entertaining. So I thought I'd share some of the Google searches people have used which inadvertently brought them here.
Searches for "i was coughing make me pee", "how can i stop peeing myself", and (my favorite) "exciting pee" brought some poor souls to this post. Apparantly urinating on oneself is more popular than I thought. I just have one question...what in the world is going on???
"oh oh oh there's no place for i in life" brought someone here. I think, I couldn't follow the link so that's my best guess. After reading that tho, I'm a tad bit curious as to what this person was really looking for?
"where oh where are you tonight" brought some lucky chap here (what's up with my British talk, anyway? 'Cause I have no idea.)
"engraved on the palm of his hands" took someone here. I still love that post.
"zebra shirt lacey idol where" Wow. That sounds like something Yoda would say....on crack. Did they want to know where Lacey from American Idol got her zebra shirt? I'm scared that I may have figured that nonsense out.
...and my favorite of ALL time is and forever will be...."ridiculously unnecessary"! After a year and a half my blog is holding stead as the 7th most ridiculously unnecessary thing in Google land! YESSSSS!!! (I just had to check.) I'm not sure why, but that still makes me happy.
Searches for "i was coughing make me pee", "how can i stop peeing myself", and (my favorite) "exciting pee" brought some poor souls to this post. Apparantly urinating on oneself is more popular than I thought. I just have one question...what in the world is going on???
"oh oh oh there's no place for i in life" brought someone here. I think, I couldn't follow the link so that's my best guess. After reading that tho, I'm a tad bit curious as to what this person was really looking for?
"where oh where are you tonight" brought some lucky chap here (what's up with my British talk, anyway? 'Cause I have no idea.)
"engraved on the palm of his hands" took someone here. I still love that post.
"zebra shirt lacey idol where" Wow. That sounds like something Yoda would say....on crack. Did they want to know where Lacey from American Idol got her zebra shirt? I'm scared that I may have figured that nonsense out.
...and my favorite of ALL time is and forever will be...."ridiculously unnecessary"! After a year and a half my blog is holding stead as the 7th most ridiculously unnecessary thing in Google land! YESSSSS!!! (I just had to check.) I'm not sure why, but that still makes me happy.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Another opportunity for the paparazzi, and some weekend rambles...
Yesterday, I went to my bank to get a money order. This in and of itself would not be blogworthy for the average person, but need I remind you that I am somewhat of a celebrity at Wells Fargo?
As exciting as it is for them to see me in the drive-thru, it is apparently 83% more exciting when I come inside. They were obnoxiously thrilled to see me. The Toy Story Barbie waited on me, and she must have asked me if I had any plans for the weekend at least 3 times. Maybe her memory chip was set on repeat or something, because each time I gave her the exact same response and she didn't seem to notice at all.
Well, guess what...it's Saturday! It's the weekend!! And the sun is shining!!! Yay!!!!
I'm a little teeny bit excited, can ya tell? Last night we had a house full of kids (young adults actually), as Brittany and 4 of her friends were here overnight and left for the Mall of America this morning. They were up earlier than we were - due to the "Kirby Patrol". He absolutely can't stand not greeting (aka - licking and hyperventilating) guests, which is what he was doing at 7:30am. So once they were sufficiently awakened, Vince and I made pancakes and bacon for everyone before they headed out the door.
Now Vince is hanging sheetrock in the boys' bedrooms - we are on a mission to get them done soon, due to the new venture that we are embarking on that I have eluded to recently, but can't reveal just yet. I will be doing some more home organizing when I'm done blogging, and later this afternoon we will be heading to a birthday party that Kyle and Hope have been invited to at a rollerskating rink...boy does that take me back to 1980! We'll be dropping them off at the party, then going out for dinner by ourselves for a couple hours. Oh, one more big YAY!!!
As exciting as it is for them to see me in the drive-thru, it is apparently 83% more exciting when I come inside. They were obnoxiously thrilled to see me. The Toy Story Barbie waited on me, and she must have asked me if I had any plans for the weekend at least 3 times. Maybe her memory chip was set on repeat or something, because each time I gave her the exact same response and she didn't seem to notice at all.
Well, guess what...it's Saturday! It's the weekend!! And the sun is shining!!! Yay!!!!
I'm a little teeny bit excited, can ya tell? Last night we had a house full of kids (young adults actually), as Brittany and 4 of her friends were here overnight and left for the Mall of America this morning. They were up earlier than we were - due to the "Kirby Patrol". He absolutely can't stand not greeting (aka - licking and hyperventilating) guests, which is what he was doing at 7:30am. So once they were sufficiently awakened, Vince and I made pancakes and bacon for everyone before they headed out the door.
Now Vince is hanging sheetrock in the boys' bedrooms - we are on a mission to get them done soon, due to the new venture that we are embarking on that I have eluded to recently, but can't reveal just yet. I will be doing some more home organizing when I'm done blogging, and later this afternoon we will be heading to a birthday party that Kyle and Hope have been invited to at a rollerskating rink...boy does that take me back to 1980! We'll be dropping them off at the party, then going out for dinner by ourselves for a couple hours. Oh, one more big YAY!!!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Sometimes it's so hard to be famous
Ok, is it just me or do the people at Wells Fargo bank creep you out? Seriously. They are way too excited to see me and I'm a little scared to go there now.
"Hi Lisa!!! (insert huge, exaggerated smile). Welcome to Wells Fargo!!! How can I help you today?!! A deposit? Faaaabulous!! Is there anything else I can do?? No, really, ANYTHING?! (cue feign sincerety and more exaggerated excitement). Thank you SO MUCH! Have a wonderful day! See you next time!!!"
It's not just one teller, or even one bank. We have four WF's in our town and they are all like this!
Honestly, just a friendly hello would do. Even a "how can I help you" wouldn't scare me. "Have a nice day" would be acceptable. But no, every time I go there they act like I was their best friend in highschool and we haven't seen eachother in 22 years. Oh, and now I'm a celebrity. I swear, when I drove away I heard them kibitzing...
"Guess who I just waited on......Lisa Howard!"
"No way!"
"Way!"
"I got to wait on her last week. It was awesome!"
"What was she wearing?"
"Green shirt, white vest, black pants. So cute!"
"Wow. What a rush! I still can't believe it was her."
"What'd you get to do for her?"
"Just a deposit".
"Oh...last week I got to give her cash back."
"Lucky."
I didn't hear the rest of the conversation because I had to ditch the paparazzi on my way to work.
Vince told me to mention the Stepford Wives. I said why (because I know nothing about the Stepford Wives). He just said "People will think that's funny". Oh, okay.
"Hi Lisa!!! (insert huge, exaggerated smile). Welcome to Wells Fargo!!! How can I help you today?!! A deposit? Faaaabulous!! Is there anything else I can do?? No, really, ANYTHING?! (cue feign sincerety and more exaggerated excitement). Thank you SO MUCH! Have a wonderful day! See you next time!!!"
It's not just one teller, or even one bank. We have four WF's in our town and they are all like this!
Honestly, just a friendly hello would do. Even a "how can I help you" wouldn't scare me. "Have a nice day" would be acceptable. But no, every time I go there they act like I was their best friend in highschool and we haven't seen eachother in 22 years. Oh, and now I'm a celebrity. I swear, when I drove away I heard them kibitzing...
"Guess who I just waited on......Lisa Howard!"
"No way!"
"Way!"
"I got to wait on her last week. It was awesome!"
"What was she wearing?"
"Green shirt, white vest, black pants. So cute!"
"Wow. What a rush! I still can't believe it was her."
"What'd you get to do for her?"
"Just a deposit".
"Oh...last week I got to give her cash back."
"Lucky."
I didn't hear the rest of the conversation because I had to ditch the paparazzi on my way to work.
Vince told me to mention the Stepford Wives. I said why (because I know nothing about the Stepford Wives). He just said "People will think that's funny". Oh, okay.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Not Me! Monday
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
I know there is a plethora of other dumb things that I have done in the past week, but I'm having a blank moment. So, just now as I asked Mr. Wonderful, "Hon, what stupid things have I done in the past week?", he did not reply "Oh......don't trap me like that." Because I would never trap him like that and he knows it.
...fast forward 4 hours. It is not now almost 2am, and I am not awake because my face and throat are itching like crazy because I did not let myself run out of Claritin. It's just a bad, bad dream. And even if it were true, I would have taken one of Vince's Zyrtecs and gone directly back to bed. I would definitely NOT have plopped myself down in front of the computer to add this to my already published "Not Me!" post, whilst eating Mrs. Richardson's Chocolate Lover's Fudge with a spoon directly out of the jar. Nope, I would never do that. It's someone else, now go back to bed. Sheesh!
It's "Not me!" time again...good grief! It seems like only yesterday that I was revealing embarassing stuff about myself, and now it's time to do it again! Oh well, here goes...
This past week, I was not TOTALLY THRILLED to see that my blog has reclaimed it's #1 spot as THE most ridiculously unnecessary thing in the entire Google universe! Yesssss!! (If you don't know what I am talking about, read this to catch up.)
When I saw this, I did not do a happy dance, and then I did not subsequently take this picture to prove my position of honor (in the unfortunate event that I should be bumped out of my #1 spot sometime in the future.)
When I saw this, I did not do a happy dance, and then I did not subsequently take this picture to prove my position of honor (in the unfortunate event that I should be bumped out of my #1 spot sometime in the future.)
I know there is a plethora of other dumb things that I have done in the past week, but I'm having a blank moment. So, just now as I asked Mr. Wonderful, "Hon, what stupid things have I done in the past week?", he did not reply "Oh......don't trap me like that." Because I would never trap him like that and he knows it.
...fast forward 4 hours. It is not now almost 2am, and I am not awake because my face and throat are itching like crazy because I did not let myself run out of Claritin. It's just a bad, bad dream. And even if it were true, I would have taken one of Vince's Zyrtecs and gone directly back to bed. I would definitely NOT have plopped myself down in front of the computer to add this to my already published "Not Me!" post, whilst eating Mrs. Richardson's Chocolate Lover's Fudge with a spoon directly out of the jar. Nope, I would never do that. It's someone else, now go back to bed. Sheesh!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Reasons to celebrate!
If you do a Google search for "ridiculously unnecessary", my blog is the second thing that pops up! (It was the first last night, but some punk bumped me down to #2).
I am not even kidding. Go ahead and try it.
I'll wait...
http://www.google.com/search?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=&q=ridiculously+unnecessary&aq=f&oq=
See? Someone stumbled upon my blog with that search (I havea very sophisticated blog tracking system Sitemeter, it's free - that's how I know.)
Apparantly "ridiculous" and "unnecessary" are very popular searches on Google (there are over 400,000 results), and either one of which could apply to my blog. However, when you combine the two together, you are immediately catapulted, passing all other ridiculous and unnecessary things of this world, directly to my blog.
Is that not the most awesome thing ever?!! I cannot tell you how much that makes my day!!
But what makes my day even better than that (if you can fathom) is that today is Mr. Wonderful's Birthday!!!!
Happy Birthday, Baby!!!!! I love you!!!!!!
I am not even kidding. Go ahead and try it.
I'll wait...
http://www.google.com/search?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=&q=ridiculously+unnecessary&aq=f&oq=
See? Someone stumbled upon my blog with that search (I have
Apparantly "ridiculous" and "unnecessary" are very popular searches on Google (there are over 400,000 results), and either one of which could apply to my blog. However, when you combine the two together, you are immediately catapulted, passing all other ridiculous and unnecessary things of this world, directly to my blog.
Is that not the most awesome thing ever?!! I cannot tell you how much that makes my day!!
But what makes my day even better than that (if you can fathom) is that today is Mr. Wonderful's Birthday!!!!
Happy Birthday, Baby!!!!! I love you!!!!!!
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Loud birds and other ridiculously unnecessary noises at 5am
We have psychotic birds here. I don't know what is going on, but we do. One of them decided to chirp ~ one loud chirp, every 6.2 seconds ~ right outside our bedroom window this morning until it woke me up...at 5am. Darth was peacefully sleeping through it. I didn't even remember to tell him about it before he left for work. This is the second of what I am convinced will be a series of odd bird behavior that has occurred since we moved in. Ok, maybe that wasn't odd in bird world, but it was very unecessary in the human world, namely mine. The first psychotic episode was several weeks ago...I woke up to what I thought was someone knocking at the door. Three fast knock knock knocks.....then silence. For about 20 seconds. Just long enough for me to go into another room in search of the source of the noise. Then knock knock knock again.....aaaand silence. After going to the front door, then the kitchen, and doing alot of standing around with a confused/annoyed look on my face, I finally determined it was coming from Hope's room. So I opened the blinds and waited...until it came. A cardinal. Flew directly from the tree in our backyard right smack into Hope's window. Thunk. Flap flap flap. Retreat. It flew back to it's tree, composed itself, thought "what the...?" and then tried again. Thunk. Flap flap flap. Retreat. Every time it did this, it hit it's head on the window exactly three times. Wierd. How many times does a bird have to do this until it gets it? Or knocks itself out? Hope woke up in the middle of this, and I went and got Kyle so we could all watch and laugh. It was pretty hilarious.
I didn't want Vince to leave for work today. We need some time together. It's been a long while since we have had any significant amount of time alone. I miss that.
I didn't want Vince to leave for work today. We need some time together. It's been a long while since we have had any significant amount of time alone. I miss that.
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