"I'll believe that when I see it." How often do we think that way? Show me first, then I'll believe you! I've been pondering this lately as I think about our future and all the things we are believing God for in the next several months....a job for Vince, a buyer for my house, a new home for our family. For months now Vince and I have been praying about these things, and relying on faith that God will provide all that we need when we need it. As I have already written about, I am prone to worry and fret, and I admit that I have been riding on Vince's faith more than I have my own concerning these issues. I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing, in fact I think it is part of God's design for marriage. God gives Vince strength and faith in areas where I am weak, so that I can lean on and rely on him....and vice versa. Lately God has been showing me on another level what it really means to have faith.
Vince made some connections with a company last week that could very likely provide a job for him in the future. It looks really promising, and afterwards I found myself releasing alot of anxiety over the whole job search thing, and feeling like "Yes! God IS going to provide a job for him!" It was then that I realized that my faith really took off only AFTER I saw some evidence that God was in fact working on the situation. Hmmph. I came to God with praise and thanksgiving, but had to hang my head in shame at this thought...where was my faith before this? Did He not tell me all along that He would provide? Does He not say in His Word that He knows our needs even before we ask, and as a loving Father He provides for our every need? Of course I believed that, but I came to realize that I really only believed it after the fact. My faith was backwards faith, which is no faith at all. And that kind of faith does not make God happy.
"But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." James 1:6-8
God showed me that I have been asking...and then continuing to worry & doubt, and as a result I was doing alot of blowing and tossing in the wind. What does that tell me about my faith? And my view of the One in whom I put my faith? I imagine my kids coming to me and telling me that they are hungry and asking me to make supper for them. As a parent, I already know that they are hungry and already have plans for supper. So I set about the task of preparing the meal, all the while the kids keep coming up to me, "when will it be ready? what are you making? can I open the lid? just a peak? are you sure there is anything in there?" and off they go worrying and fretting, "oh, what if mom doesn't know that I need to eat? what if she makes something I don't like? what if she forgets? I am going to starve here and she doesn't even notice!" I really don't have to imagine this scenario because it actually happens in my house. And my reaction is always the same...."Good grief, child. Get a grip! I am making supper, just be patient and trust me. This is my job, let me do it. I know what I'm doing, I don't need constant reminders from you. You just need to go do what I have asked YOU to do, and I'll let you know when it's time to come to the table and eat. And by the way....you will LOVE it!"
"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:11
How much faith would it take if we knew the outcome? If we could see into the future? If we could see what's cooking in the pot? God is extremely interested in growing our faith...faith that believes even when our eyes do not see His hand at work. Faith that believes without yet seeing what is behind door #1. Faith that trusts that He is who He says He is, and He will do what He says He will do. It pleases Him when we believe Him....when we place our faith in HIM no matter what our eyes may see. When we believe that HE is faithful. Then when we finally do see His provision, we can truly be thankful and not surprised....in awe, yes, but not surprised. Because God IS who He says He is!!! And He WILL do what He says He will do!!!
Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:29
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6