Wednesday, December 02, 2009

This is what happens when I just sit down to write without a plan

Have you had the new taco Doritos? We got some last night to make Vinny's favorite "taco pie" for his birthday dinner...and may I just say that those chips are awesome! They actually taste like an entire taco - I swear (but 99% of the time I don't) you can even taste the lettuce in them. I am not kidding. Dip them in sour cream and you will never again feel the need to eat at Taco Bell, ever. You will also never wear a size 10 again, but some things are just worth it.

I'm not sure where this is going, so I'll just keep rambling and see what comes spewing out. I'm good at that, especially in real life - which is more risky because I don't have a backspace or delete button on myself yet. There have been many moments where that would have come in handy tho, such as the time I...

1) Said the f-word to my pastor. Wait! Let me 'splain! I didn't actually say it to him, rather I was talking to him about a situation that I observed between two people in my life where that word was used, and I did not censor myself. But it was ok. We are blessed with an awesome, realistic and understanding pastor who wasn't at all phased by my telling him like it was. I think people try to sugar coat life in the eyes of their pastors, and if it were me I would hate that. I'd just be dying for people to be real.

2) Called myself a "retard" in front of my boss. This in and of itself isn't horrific, except when you work for an agency that provides services to people with developmental disabilities, as I do. Then it is not cool, and the r-word is just as bad, if not worse than the f-word.

3) Talked about someone who I thought had left, but was apparantly in the other room and I am quite sure heard the whole conversation. (This was years ago, and that person I'm pretty sure doesn't read my blog, so it prolly wasn't you.) Ok, I'm about 99% sure that they heard me, but I couldn't confirm that because that would require me asking "did you hear what I was talking about just now?" and if they actually didn't, well then I'd have to tell them what I said, which is exactly what I was wanting to "delete" in the first place.

And let's not for get the time I...

4) Had a complete meltdown in front of the post office when I was pregnant (read: temporarily mentally unstable) and frustrated that the post office in our very small town not only forced me to have (and pay for) a post office box because we lived too close to the post office and they refused to deliver our mail (lame), but they also locked their doors at 4:30pm which, because of my work schedule made it completely impossible to get my mail until Saturdays. (Breath). Not realizing that anyone could hear me, I verbally vomited all over the place "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY MAIL !!!!" (among other things, which I'm sure included some of the 1% verbage I have previously referred to). Turns out a very nice man did in fact hear me, and about half an hour later showed up at my house to give me the number of the person in charge at the post office, who he was certain could help me solve my dilema. Isn't that sweet?

It was one of the most embarassing moments of my life.

This is what happens when you live in a very small town. Not only is someone always around to hear you, they also know who you are and where you live. And they are really, really nice like that.

So, there ya go. I told ya I was going to be real.

1 comment:

  1. Why did you have to tell me about those Doritos. You can use the r-word or even the f-word all you like, but really don't pass on info like new chips that just hearing of them have put 3 pounds on my thighs. I'm trying to lose weight here!