Not My Blog, More Most-Perfectest-Purse Awesomeness, and I GET A SNOWDAY!

I haven't been this excited since 1987. 

I have never worked somewhere that closed when the weather was bad.  Even during my highschool and college years working at Hardees and Country Kitchen, they stayed open through it all and I don't remember ever having a snow day from work...until today.  My place of employment is closed today and when I discovered this as the kids still slept soundly in their beds this am, I did a silent little happy dance from my couch.  Not that I don't want to go to work, I love my job, but who doesn't love a snowday?!  A crazy person, that's who.

The only thing that would make today even better is if my kids had the day off too, but our schools are only doing the two-hour delay, so I guess I will get most of the day all to myself. 

Wait a minute...

Visions of a quiet house void of incessantly bouncing balls,  numerous "KNOCK IT OFF!"s and "Mom... mom... mom... mom... mom...mom...mom...mom...mom..." (contrary to popular belief, this does not end when children leave toddlerhood, or even elementary school).  Doesn't sound too bad after all.  I'm sure I can find all kinds of lovely ways to fill my day including (but not limited to) CMT, HGTV, and a new edition of "The Most Perfectest Purse Ever".

Just in case you missed the excitement of editions one and two, and you happen to have absolutely nothing else of the slightest value whatsoever to do with your time, you can read all about my previous successes at finding the most perfect purse here and here.  Just know that you will not be able to get those eight minutes of your life back. 

I have been searching for months for a new purse that meets my criteria for awesomeness.  It's not easy to find.  The other ones were most certainly awesome and served their purposes for a season, until either I found an unpredictable flaw, or they became too small for my ever increasing need to carry more crap around have essential items available at all times.

So after months of searching and subsequent rejecting, I finally found my new baby:

Can you hear me singing Stevie Wonder "Isn't She Lovely"?  Well, I am.  And no one is rolling their eyes at me because they are at school and I GET A SNOWDAY!!! 

So now, can we talk about how awesome this purse is?  Seriously. Let's just count the ways that it fits and/or exceeds my stringent standards for awesomeness. 

1) It has to be real leather. Or a fake material that I happen to think is real leather.  Check.  And dare I say that I think this one actually may be real leather.  If not, they added some fake leather smell to it which is totally fine with me. 

2) It has to have a short handle.  Check.  Do I realize that it makes me look like my grandmother to carry my purse around by the handle and nearly dragging it on the ground?  Yes, yes I do.  And my grandmother was a very smart and practical woman. 

3) It has to have separate pockets for my cell phone and lip stuff on the outside of the purse.  This one has both, right in front, AND they have magnetic snaps.  More awesomeness.  The absence of this feature was my main complaint about edition two.  I had to put my cell phone and lip stuff in the same pocket, so when I went for one or the other while driving, it was less than efficient and that just cannot be.

4) It absolutely cannot have any sequins or tassles or unnecessary gaudy embelishments.  Please.  Check.

5) It has to be able to zip shut.  Amen.  Those snaps in the middle?  Yea, they never keep stuff in when your purse falls over.  Or your kids throw it on the floor of your car.  Not that I would know anything about that.

6) It has to have at least two big separate sections - one for my wallet & notes, the other for all my crap important stuff that I don't leave home without (my mini hairspray, lotion, advil, altoids, nail file, camera, and the ocassional happy meal toy).  This all still applies, except the "happy meal toy" stage has been replaced by iPods, cell phones, DS's, and various other things that I take away from our kids when they cop an attitude with me or eachother, which I have found works far better than sending them to their rooms because that is where they want to go anyway.

7) And last but not least, it has to be big enough to hold all of said crap important stuff, but not look like a suitcase.  This criteria is getting harder and harder to meet as I get older, however this purse still squeaks by.  Even though it weighs 49 pounds.

There you have it.  Now that I have given a virtual tour of my purse, if someone steals it and also happens to read my blog they will know exactly where to find everything.  And if they are in desperate need of a nickel and about fourteen pennies, they'll be set.