The most perfectest purse ever, and making my husband's head hurt.

I found it! The perfect purse! It's the most perfectest purse ever! EVER, PEOPLE!! I'm a happy girl!

It's been a long search, months actually. My old purse used to be the perfect purse. I bought it over two years ago, and I should have bought two because I of course could not for the life of me find the same one a few months ago when the handle was wearing out beyond repair.

Ok, let me break for a moment and tell you that if you are a male you might want to just stop reading right now. I actually plan on writing an entire blog about my purse so it is very likely that nothing beyond this point (or up to it) will interest you in the least.

So, girls, I have been looking for a new purse for months now, and as we ALL know, getting the "just right purse" is essential to personal happiness and success in daily life. There are few things more annoying than a bad purse (except perhaps an entire blog about purses, if you are a guy).

The reason it has taken me so long to find one is that I have very specific requirements in a purse. And they are as follows:

1) It has to be real leather. Or a fake material that I happen to think is real leather. Not because only real leather is "good enough" for me....psha. I just don't like shiny, plastic like material because it tends to crack, it has to be a soft leather.

2) It has to have a short handle, I don't do over the shoulder straps because they always fall off my shoulder. Annoyance.

3) It has to have separate pockets for my cell phone and lip stuff on the outside of the purse. I like to be able to find these things while driving, which is not conducive to digging through a bunch of crap stuff. Notice that my new most perfectest purse has both! Cha!

4) It absolutely cannot have any sequins or tassles or unnecessary gaudy embelishments.

5) It has to be able to zip shut. I hate purses that don't close because when your purse tips over (as mine does often) then your stuff spills out. Uber annoyance.

6) It has to have at least two big separate sections - one for my wallet & notes, the other for all my crap important stuff that I don't leave home without (my mini hairspray, lotion, advil, altoids, nail file, camera, and the ocassional happy meal toy). I could totally win Let's Make A Deal.

7) And last but not least, it has to be big enough to hold all of said crap important stuff, but not look like a suitcase.

Like I said, it has taken me months and a significant amount of whining to find the just right purse. During that time, I looked at many different purses at many different stores and turned my nose up at all of them for one reason or another. I wasn't in too big of a hurry until recently, as the handle on my purse wore ever thinner and neared it's breaking point. That's when I got desperate.

Good decisions are rarely made while in a state of desperation, and in mine I ended up making the ultimate purse faux pas....I settled. I found one that I "liked" but didn't "love". (Kind of like the difference between DQ and Cold Stone). I did "like" it tho, and when I bought it and brought it home to show Vince, he was genuinely happy for me (or more likely he was just happy that the whining was over. Ah, silly man).

However, it was just not meant to be. Over the next several weeks, my new crush began showing it's true colors. I realized that #2 wasn't true enough, and #5 had happened far too many times, and it just wasn't working out. I was going to have to break up with my purse. No sugar coating it, I would just have to tell it the truth. "It's not me, it's you." So one day in the car I made the announcement to Vince...my wonderful husband who tries so hard to understand the workings of a woman's mind and decisions..."I don't like my purse".

He paused, looked straight ahead for several seconds with a dazed look on his face, and said "that hurts my head."

So imagine his excitement today when I announced to him that I had found the most perfectest purse ever! For real this time! It is a relief to both him and me. And the best part about my most perfectest purse....it was 50% off so I paid only $13 for it! Cha-ching! (What's that? It can't be real leather for that price? Sssssh! Lalalalalaaa...I didn't hear that.)

I should go out and buy another one just like it as soon as possible so that I don't write another blog exactly like this one in two years.