Why does life have to be so difficult sometimes? I mean really. When is it going to be my turn to have the stress free, uncomplicated, and unimaginably blissful existence that I have always thought life was supposed to be. If I do things right. Aren't I supposed to eventually end up "there". Where things are easy and calm?
Hmmph. Just a tad unrealistic, perhaps.
I can't go into it, but basically I am feeling torn between the demands of my job and the needs of my family. I'm almost paralized by fear of making the wrong decision and regretting. I am very passionate about what I do.
My family needs more from me, more than I have been giving them.
Our kids need me to be there for them...to drive them to their activities and pick them up.
To be sitting in the bleachers cheering them on.
To be there after school to help with homework,
to talk about their day and help them work through issues with their friends or their teachers.
To give them love, guidance, encouragement, laughter....
I need to be home in time to make a meal and sit down together as a family, rather than getting home late, throwing some frozen pizza at them and then rushing back out the door. It's not like that every night, but all too often it is.
I am asking my blog-reading friends to please pray for me. I need some wisdom! And some open doors - at least one with an obnoxiously bright flashing light saying "ENTER HERE!"