I feel like I'm waking up...after a long winter. The curtain is ever so slowly and gently being pushed aside to let a ray of sunlight enter my room. I have to say, it feels pretty good!
After finishing my last blog, I went and got my bible and my journal...it's a prayer journal, not a "dear diary, today I ate a whole bag of m&ms" kind of journal. I keep it with my bible and although I don't write in it every day, I do write in it when I feel inspired from something God has revealed to me through His word. Other times I just like to write out my prayers. God has spoken so much to me through doing that...many times I have started out writing about stresses and end up writing praises or songs or even thanking Him for the circumstances that had me stressed out! Anyway, I opened it to the last entry that I made....November 13th, 2008. Almost 3 months ago. No wonder why I haven't been able to think of anything to blog about lately. Empty cups don't have much to say.
I've been stumbling around in the dark, bumping into things for the past 3 months. I could look up a bunch of verses about why we need to read the bible, but I think instead I'll just explain why I do...because when I don't I get crabby. I get fearful. I worry. And I gain back all the weight I lost for my wedding (sigh). The other night I sat down at the piano and pulled out a song that I haven't played or even listened to in some time, "Thy Word". I sang & played it several times, and as I did I felt something in my spirit stir. That's what inspired me to start writing Monday, and as I did God reminded me of the words my friend spoke about loving her family out of an empty cup....one that could only be filled by the Word of God. So here I sit, as God takes these seemingly unrelated experiences - a song from 20 years ago and an empty cup - and I begin to see how they fit together. Did God know as I listened to that song 20 years ago that I would need it now? Yes, I believe He did! He planted it in my heart knowing that I will need it in the future, and at the just right time He brought it to the surface. I'm sure He will do it again, if not with this song then with something else. Looking back on my life, I can see where He has done this so many times. In preparation for something I would be going through, He revealed something to me in advance...a scripture, words from a friend, a song, a book...before I needed it so that when the time came that I did need it, it was right there in my hand and in my heart.
You know what I hope? I hope that when we are in Heaven, God will show us all the times in our lives where He acted and moved and we didn't even know it was Him. Maybe He will sit down with me and replay my life like a movie. And when we get to the parts where I didn't see Him working, where I was stumbling around in the dark, He will say "Look here, remember when that happened? That was Me...turning on the light."