...is because I am tired of opening my blog and seeing pictures of hamburger. I have nothing to say of any importance or interest at all.
Actually that's not entirely true. I have ALOT to say, really, but not enough time to say (type) it all. God's been doing a whole lotta changing in me these last few weeks and months. I went from being utterly convinced that He wanted me to quit my job and open a daycare....to being entirely confused as to why it wasn't happening...to being 99% convinced that I am to stay put right where I am. I've moved through the confused (and angry and frustrated) phase and have found myself with a renewed commitment and dedication to the children and families that I work with in my job. Why exactly God let me walk this entirely different path (and spend all that money) only to find a dead end, I'm not sure. But I know He had purpose in it, and I think it may have been to show me that this is in fact exactly where He wants to use me. Maybe He had to pull me away, just far enough, to give me a new vision. Sometimes it's hard to see the big picture when you are immersed in something.
So here I am. It's not the easy road, and it's not the one I thought He had chosen for me, but it's my mission and purpose and I am thankful.
As far as our kids go...one of my biggest motivations for doing daycare was to be able to be at home with them, especially during these summer months. I thought maybe it was an answer to years of prayers and my dream of being a stay at home mom. But maybe this experience has been designed by God to help me let go of that dream and focus on where He has called me. If that's the case, I need to continue to trust. Trust that God knows what He's doing, and has the best interest of all of us in mind. Because I know in my heart that He does.
And we have been pleasantly surprised at the maturity we have seen in all of the kids so far this summer. They are being more responsible and getting along far better than I had anticipated. Maybe I just needed to get out of their way?!