Apparently I'm still pretty busy

It's been over a year since I last blogged.  Do people even blog anymore?  Should I?  I don't know.  I never really did it for others anyway, I do it for myself.  So I just need to decide if I want to continue and today I do, so here we go.

Another year in review, still sticking with the short phrases method...

~ Fall 2022~

Still thinking about baby boy's wedding <3

Rennaissance with Jaden

growing up too fast!

Apple orchard with kids & grands

So stinking cute!

Met the Howard family at the Pinicon

~ Winter ~

Family Christmas at Hope & Connor's in PJ's!

Rotary lights on a horse-drawn carriage with my love

Vegas!

Sister, nieces, nephews, and grandnieces...love!

no more flight anxiety...PTL!

"Elton John Show" at TI with Hope & Connor!  

~ Spring 2023 ~

Nick & Katrina bought their first house

Watching our kids adulting = amazing!

Speaking of amazing...

HAWAII!!!!!

 He took me to Maui :) 

Love.

Brooks & Dunn!

~ Summer ~

Dad & Kathy's 40th party!

Family time :)

Photoshoot

Hysterectomy, long recovery, back to work

Bye-bye hellacious periods = worth celebrating \o/

Over halfway through to my MSW...WHAAAH???  

A lifelong dream coming true.

It's happening.

This is also happening...

~ Fall ~

Baby girl got engaged!!!!!

Wedding coming in 2025!

Also WHAAAAH?!

I love my family.

I love love <3 

I've been busy

and my brain can only spew out short phrases right now, so here goes a summary of my life over the last six months...

heart attack #3  

surgery for my bionic husband

intermittent fasting for the win

walking in sunshine is therapy

losing weight, feeling great

grad school, it's really happening

dream coming true

destination wedding...my baby boy got married!

we danced <3  

so many special moments

and forever memories

remembering how to study and take notes and write papers

loving it, killing it

I'm going to be a psychotherapist (whaaaat?)

buried my mom and stepdad...didn't realize how much that would mean to have her here by me again

started watching Modern Family :) 

hired someone to clean our house

got to see my sissy…twice!

she gave me the ultimate most awesomest purse evah!  game over :)

started using a big planner because it fits in my most awesomest purse…game changer

booked a trip to hawaii!  

mr. wonderful is taking me to maui :) 

the end

You Don’t Say!

Lucy and Elmer lived in the red house next door.  They were super old people, at least that’s what my four year old self thought.  I used to go over and visit a lot.  Elmer was always outside, wearing farmers overalls and a hat with a brim, walking around the yard or doing man stuff in his garage like my dad.  If he wasn't too busy he would smile and say hi to me which was nice, but I was there to see Lucy.  

I don’t remember exactly what she looked like, but I think she wore glasses and had brown, wavy hair.  Or maybe it was grey?  I didn't pay much attention to appearances then, and the same is true now.  If you ask me what someone looked like or what they were wearing I might have a vague recollection, but it will most certainly lack detail.  I'm much more likely to remember what someone said, or how they were feeling.  

Lucy was always in her kitchen with an apron on, busy at work making something.  I remember her rolling out dough with a rolling pin and sometimes she would let me roll it.  She always seemed so happy to me, carefree and smiling.  She would listen with delight to whatever I had to say…which was a lot.  I would go on and on (and on) about my favorite show…Gilligan’s Island, telling her every detail and according to my dad would even include the commercials (Lucy wasn’t the only one who was blessed with my Gilligan stories).  

And Lucy gave me the greatest gift…she listened.  She not only listened, but she engaged with me, as if she was truly interested and thrilled with every word. “You don’t say!” was the response she gave after every exclamation I made.  And that of course encouraged me to keep going.  

She never seemed to tire of it. 

I remember more than once my mom yelling to Lucy from across the yard that she could send me home if I was bothering her.  Lucy always seemed surprised at the thought and said no, that I wasn’t a bother at all!  And I believed her.  Such a sweet lady.   

She made me feel special, and that was something.  

I hope I was that kind of mom to my kids when they were little.  I wanted to be and still do.  I want my kids, my grands, and whoever I'm with at the moment to know that they matter, I'm really listening, and that besides Jesus they are the most important person in the room.  

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."  - Maya Angelou

Fighting demons

I'm tired.

Fighting demons is exhausting, especially the ones that continue to haunt me long after I thought I had beaten them.  

It's a fight, nearly every day to keep trying.  To not let them win.  But the temptation is strong to give up and give in to unhealthy habits, and have immediate freedom from the struggle.  Whatever it is in the moment.

"Just have it, you'll feel better."

Escape.  Numb.  Give up.

"The fight is too hard, it's too hard to resist cravings and I don't have the energy."

"It won't matter anyway.  This one thing won't change anything.  Not really.  Not today.  I mean, look at me?"

"I can begin again tomorrow.  Or next week".  

Or never.

These are all things I tell myself, except they are all lies and I know it.  Even as I'm saying them, I know. 

Numbness wears off and escape finds its way back to reality.  

A reality that never seems to change.  

I can't seem to change it anyway.

God can, but He's slow about it.

And I don't appreciate that.  

When relief is what we seek, the last thing we want to do is have to wait for it.  

Change takes time and I hate that about it.

I crave the destination, but the journey isn't always pretty.  

It's kind of like riding in an airplane. 

It terrifies me.  I have lots of things in my arsenal to help me through it including meds and oils and wrist bands and snacks and music and alcohol.  "Flying Lisa" is a whole thing.  She's all about creating an alternate reality designed to numb out, escape, hide from the fear and the struggle rather than facing it.   

I don't want to live afraid.  

I don't trust God with my fear.   I tell Him I do, much like I tell others and myself.  But truth is I don't.  

Not really.

Not enough to let go of my arsenal of antidotes.  

Antidote:  a medicine taken or given to counteract a particular poison.

My poison is fear.  And it's deadly.  

It slowly kills the life I want to live, the faith I want to rely on, the truth I want to believe.  

What am I so damn afraid of?  I've been living with it my entire life, this fear, but I'm not sure I've ever really tried to figure out what it is.  What is its purpose, besides to destroy me?  Maybe that's the only purpose.  A demon's purpose is to be demonic.  To steal, kill and destroy, according to the bible.  

Maybe that's just it.  Maybe it's not more complicated than that.  

Demons have arsenals too, and their weapons are fierce and consistent.  They trip me up and snarl at me to stay down and sometimes I listen.  It feels safer to stay low rather than continue to be knocked to the ground over and over. When I"m crawling around in the dirt I don't have so far to fall.  I can sit there with my head on my knees and protect myself from inhaling the dust that gets kicked in my face.  

Except I'm not really protected.  I'm imprisoned.  

Security is not found in isolation, 

and freedom is not found in escape.    

The more I scrounge around in the dirt, the deeper the pit I inevitably dig for myself.

And a pit is not a home.

What's happening

 It's more of a statement than a question...or I guess it's both.  

What's happening.

I have a confession to make.  2021 has kicked my butt.  There I said it.  No sugar coating, just being real.  I'm not going to pretend that I've been riding waves of strength and peace as I've navigated through this past half-a-year since Vince's heart issues began (or surfaced, rather).  They began long before that day that he had his first heart attack in May and I suppose that's the root of my problem.  

It snuck up on him, and thus, us.  

And that's always been my greatest fear...being blind-sided.  Scary things are lurking in the dark and without warning, they will jump out and attack.  Call it fear of the unknown.  Paranoia.  Whatever.  I've struggled with it my entire life.  I'm afraid to be happy and calm because then I let my guard down and am not prepared for the thing.  

The thing that's lurking, taunting me, waiting to pounce.

And it leaves me in a constant state of fear of what if...what's next.  What's the next bad thing that's going to happen.  And it's this fear that steals my joy, and sometimes my faith.

Here's where I'm supposed to trust God.  I'm so tired of being afraid.  Trying to drown my fear with food, distraction, avoidance doesn't work in the long run, it just leaves me tired and parched, feeling weak and defeated.  

I don't really have the answers right now.  It's 3am and I'm tired.  What I do know is this...the truth does not depend on my feelings.  And the truth is that I have victory in Christ.  He has not left me alone to fight my battles without weapons.  He is there and gives me all that I need to live a victorious life.  The answer is in scripture, in Jesus Himself.  

That's where my focus needs to be...not on my circumstances, or my fears, but on Him.  I need to get on with living and not wait until things aren't hard in life to be happy.  Thank you God for restoring my peace and joy!  

Thank you for being my Savior tonight.

A spider in the toilet and other things that I didn't expect

I'm still not over the trauma of seeing a gargantuan black spider baby tarantula in my bathroom sink in the middle of the night a few years ago when I had to wake Mr. W to come and kill it for me (which he did like the superhero that he is).  I still think about it when I use the bathroom at night.  Once in a lifetime should be enough for a horror like that, but alas, last night either God or Satan thought I needed another experience of exposure therapy to either help alleviate my fears or re-traumatize me.  I haven't decided which yet.   I prolly shouldn't turn the light on when I get up to use the bathroom in the night, because then what I'm not aware of won't bother me.  But it's too late now, last night I did and now I know about it and IT BOTHERS ME.

I have this thing I like to do, it's super fun and it's called "ruminating over things that frighten or otherwise upset me until I am 10 times more upset about it than I was when the thing actually happened".  I've been doing it my whole life and thus I'm very skilled at it.  It works with most situations.  Take last night for example when I saw the spider in the toilet.  It surprised me, I flushed it down, did my business and went back to bed.  End of story - right?!  

Not so fast, amateurs.  I couldn't leave it at that...I had to lay there awake imagining how the spider got into the toilet, it must have climbed up the tank which means that spiders could be lurking in, on or around my toilet at any given moment including under the seat so now I need to check in on and around the toilet and under the seat EVERY SINGLE TIME or one could end up crawling on me when I sit.  Sweet.  Oh, and it must have crawled across the house and into our bedroom and past our bed to get to the bathroom and, well that means one could easily be IN MY BED RIGHT NOW so for every night for the foreseeable forever I get to check my bed for spiders before I get in.

See how that works?  Like I said, super fun.  

Now imagine what my mind has been doing since Mr. W's heart issues, which are a bit of a bigger deal than spiders.  

The difference with the heart issues is that I am not allowing my mind to go through all the scary scenarios like I do with the spiders.  I remind myself to trust God (which I do) and to focus on the positive (which I also do) and believe for healing and a long, wonderful future for us (which I also really do).  But like spiders, the worries and fears and what-ifs are still lurking in the dark corners of my mind, threatening to creep up unexpectedly and frighten or attack me without warning.  When I don't allow my mind to think about them, they reveal themselves in other ways.  

An ever present undercurrent of anxiety and fear, insomnia, panic attacks.  

They emerge at night (of course) and keep me awake.  My go-to has been to numb out on TV or food (or both) but that has not helped.  I should know this, it never does.  Well it maybe works in the short term for smaller issues.  But when it's a soul issue like this that has deep roots and a long reach, it needs to be brought straight to Jesus at the foot of the cross.  The foot of the cross, where the soil is wet with His blood and rich with healing and redemption.  Spiders can't remain there, they scatter at the sound of my fists pounding in the mud as my soul cries and wails.  And when He lifts my head, and speaks gently to me, I strain to hear His voice but He is patient with me.  He waits until I have the strength to look into His eyes and hear what He has to say.  He tells me He's got me.  He's got us.  It's going to be alright, He is with us and will never leave.  

And He reminds me...He is there in the dark too. 

Because It Does

With everything that's been going on you'd think I'd be writing more.  One thing I've learned about myself...when I'm a little stressed I talk a lot.  When I'm super stressed...

I get quiet.  I shut down.  At least for a time.

But after a while I need to start opening up, or else all the thoughts and feelings and anxiety starts revealing itself in not so happy ways.  

Panic attacks.

Insomnia.

Feeling like something is squeezing my chest and making it difficult to breathe.

Tired all the time.

Overwhelmed.

I'm learning that it's possible to feel all these things and yet still trust God.  I used to berate myself when I got anxious or overwhelmed - thinking it was a sign of a lack of faith.  The more I get to know God, I realize that He wants me to bring these emotions to Him, not try to erase them or hide them from Him, or from others, and even from myself.  

I've spent a significant amount of my life pretending that everything was ok.  Even in the worst of circumstances, I can convince others and even myself that I'm fine.  And I even believe it sometimes.  I numb out with a variety of things (food has always been my favorite) that shield me from experiencing the thing, maybe not completely but at least not so intensely.   

I think in a crisis that defense mechanism can be useful and helpful to get through it.  But there comes a time when the numbing out isn't healthy anymore and I have to peel away some layers and deal with them.  

I'm there.

For someone who has lived a lifetime with an intense fear of something going wrong at any moment, the rug being pulled out from under my feet, or getting blind-sided by something unexpected and painful and terrifying...having your husband almost die from a "widow maker" heart attack can threaten to reclaim all the ground you have gained in prayer and therapy.

Here's where I'm tempted to get all "BUT GOD!" and tell of how He has given me amazing peace and unwavering faith and how He's carried me through and I've come out stronger on the other side of this.  

That would sound pretty impressive and spiritual and I'd probably hear a lot of amens.  But I'd be pretending again.  At least partly.  

The truth is, God has given me peace.  And He's also let me experience being terrified.  Maybe so I'd cling to Him harder.  And maybe so I learn on a deeper level to trust Him to be with me and give me what I need in the moment, no matter what happens.  

Even if the worst happens.

God has given me strength to be there for my husband when he has needed me most.  And God has also let me experience feeling weak and overwhelmed and scared.  

Maybe so I'd cling to Him harder.  

As if my life depended on Him.

Because it does.  

Things I didn't see

 If I didn't get home and start writing, my head would explode.  

That's how I felt today on my drive home from work.  I just finished the book "Educated" by Tara Westover last night and it has had a profound effect on me.  Very profound.  I wasn't expecting that.  

I've been into memoirs lately.  I've never really enjoyed reading fiction, but I love hearing about other people's lives, true life stories about what they have experienced and how they perceived it and how it changed them.  I've read several memoirs, some of which were moving and thought provoking, but none have effected me like this one has and I'd like to discover why.  

I didn't think I had anything in common with the author as I read it.  Her life was very different from mine.  She grew up in rural Idaho in a strict Mormon family.  Her parents were radical in their beliefs, which took priority over everything and everyone.  They didn't believe in sending their children to school, were paranoid about the government and doctors, and they had very little interaction with the world outside of their farm.  She tells about her transformation from the girl she was taught to be and what she was taught to believe (with absolutely no margin to question or change) to learning to think for herself and developing her own beliefs and values.  She didn't abandon her childhood entirely, but learned to integrate what she wanted to preserve with new ideas and values that she chose for herself.  

I can relate to that process immensely, but I will get into that more later on.

What is most profound to me right now is what I've realized about my kids.  Their process of wanting to break free from their upbringing and define themselves on their own terms is natural, and something we all have done.  But I wasn't quite prepared for how it would make me feel.  

The most profound change has been with my first born.  We aren't as close as I yearn to be, as we used to be.  I miss him and my heart physically hurts sometimes because I sometimes feel like I've lost him.  I haven't seen him since our family Christmas and actually for several years he has made it clear that he really doesn't want to be here in our home, hanging out with the family, or with me.  He feels different from us, and in some ways doesn't feel accepted.  He thinks I keep trying to press him into the mold that I want him to fit into, the child he used to be.  I have rejected his idea that I have been doing this, but after reading this book and listening to some interviews with the author, I realize...I think I have in fact been doing that.  On some level anyway.  Not nearly to the extent that the author experienced, but I can see a glimmer from my son's perspective why he would feel that way.

I've had ideas of who he is, or who he should be in my eyes, since he was born.  They don't necessarily match who he is or wants to be for himself.  He has felt it, more than I knew.  I didn't even realize I was doing it to him.  I tried to raise my kids to be who they truly are . . . but through the lens of who I thought they should be, I guess.

Of course I raised them to have the values that were important to me.  I think we all do that as parents, by the way.  We can't help it and I really do think that's how it should be, to a certain extent.  I raised my kids to be kind, loving, responsible, empathetic, to be able to express their thoughts and emotions, to respect authority, and for me...the MOST important thing I wanted to instill in all of our kids, was faith in God and acceptance of Jesus as their Savior.  None of those things are wrong or bad for a parent to want for their children and I don't regret trying to instill these values in my kids at all.  

What I do regret, looking back, are the things that I didn't see. 

More things I'm learning...

Praying with hope and expectation is far better than praying with fear and doubting that God will actually come through.  And it makes the waiting much more bearable.

Things don't have to be perfect for me to enjoy and embrace them (my house, my body, my story).  

Gratitude is powerful.  It is stronger than discontent, destroys envy, breaks down depression and builds a joyful heart and life.

Be present.  Be fully in the moment you are in, and with the people you are with...without distraction.

Do what you can.  Even if you feel like you want to do more, even if you think it's not enough to make a difference, do it anyway.  It will.

Things I'm learning, in no particular order

Doing things for others when you're in a funk is the quickest way out of it.

It's not only ok to pamper yourself (do things that bring comfort, happiness and relaxation), it is essential for a peaceful heart and life.

It's ok to let others think they are right when you just know they're not.  Peace is happier than proving someone wrong.

If I'm not satisfied with what I have today, what I want for tomorrow won't satisfy me either.

When what you had dreamed of isn't matching up with what is...don't give up the dream, adjust it.

There is joy in every season of life.  Don't spend too much time mourning when a season ends (raising children), embrace the one you are in (empty nest) and make it joyful.  

A weekend getaway and the cutest measuring cups on the planet

Some pics from our little getaway last weekend.  After an insanely busy week at work for Vince (over 70 hrs!) he needed a getaway so on Saturday morning we made the impromptu decision to hit the road and go north.  First stop was a winery that we've been wanting to go to for some time, and turns out it quickly became one of our favorites.

We took home a few favorites...

We then made our way to Northfield where we enjoyed a little walk through their quaint little downtown and found ourselves at this oil & vinegar store!  They weren't giving out samples right now due to the Rona (lame) so we took our chances on a bottle of basil oil and a rosemary oil.  Can't wait to see what we (ok, Vince) will create with them.

This  bench was adorbs!  However the bakery was already closed :/ 

                            We loved this store...The Measuring Cup!  Guess what I bought there?

We stayed at the AmericInn in Northfield, ordered pizza from George's Vineyard, sat by the fire, and went in the hot tub and pool which made me remember how much I loved swimming as a kid.  Every summer I rode my bike to the pool every chance I got with my friends, cousins, or my brother and sister.  It gave me the idea of joining the new YMCA!  I can see myself swimming there, maybe even taking swimming lessons?  I can do that at 51, right?  Why not?!!!  Vince is all for it, he misses working out on the weight machines.  And with a 50% discount from my work, it's totally doable!  

We got home early Sunday afternoon and I couldn't wait to use my new purchases...

I put stickers on recipes that I have tried and liked and this one earned a sticker.   

It wasn't the best chocolate cake I've ever had, but it was good and good chocolate cake is always worth it.  

Imperfect progress and it's ok that I'm not there yet

Last night I had dinner with my friend Becky.  We sat in her newly remodeled kitchen...that she did ALL HERSELF by the way...painted the cabinets, recovered the dining room chairs, and even resurfaced the countertops HER OWN SELF.  She's that brave and creative and amazing.  

When we get together, it takes very little time for us to dive deep into what I call soul conversation...what we've been thinking about, struggling with, rejoicing over, and learning about ourselves and our faith and our relationships.  Last night was no different.  Two hours flew by in a nano second as we indulged in lo mein and egg rolls and coffee ice cream and rambled and ranted about all the things that have been making up our lives since last time we talked. 

One topic we spend quite a bit of time on (and have been for the past couple years actually) is how we are navigating this season of empty nesting and parenting young adult children who are their very own adult selves and don't want to be parented anymore.  

Sigh.

This is hard.

Harder than I thought it would be, and quite honestly I think so far I am sucking at it.

I used to think things would get easier as the kids got older, that the baby and toddler years were the most challenging and as they grew older and more independent, life would get easier.  It's so cute how I used to think that.  Nothing that I experienced through all the years of parenting, all the books I read and all the things I thought I knew...nothing prepared me for these years when they would leave the nest.  Forge out on their own, no longer wanting or needing my hovering -er, I mean guidance.  

At least when they were babies and they insisted on "me do!" I could still stand there and watch (ok, hover) to make sure they didn't harm themselves with their freedom and independence. But now, not so much.  Now it's "me do!" and "back off...farther...no, farther...keep going, Mom.  I can still see you and feel what you are thinking.  You need to let me go."  

I don’t want to hear that.  That makes my heart hurt and I want to die in my body.  I’d much prefer to hear something like “Mom, what do you think I should do” and “Let’s hang out together for four hours and eat cookie dough and make snow angels and cuddle.”  Or even “Mom, I still need you.”

But then I realize, with the help of my friend and egg rolls and lo mein and coffee ice cream...that this is part of the journey.  This is how it's supposed to be.  We raise them to not need us. 

And their lives are not about me.  

Even though I birthed (some of) them out of my own body, and we had them because we wanted babies and love and family and all the sweet, precious things that come with that forever.  And even though being a mother has been my life's focus and my highest calling for the past 23 years, I now need to swallow this very hard truth.  My kids are not here on this planet to make me feel fulfilled.  They are here to live their own lives, walk out their own journeys, and fulfill their own purposes in this world.  

I have always known this to be true in my brain.  It’s my heart that’s throwing a tantrum.  

Becky gets this.  We are walking parallel roads.  She shared advise she heard recently on how to deal with this so very strong mom desire to fix and help and teach and guide and make them wear their life jackets or better yet, come back to the shore where it's safe when the waters get choppy.  She said in those moments we have one thing to do.  Only one.  And that is to shut it.

Shut.

It.

They don’t want our advise.  Our wisdom doesn’t apply to their lives.  Not now anyway.  When they are in their 40’s they’ll feel differently, but for now they want and need to follow their own callings, make their own decisions and even their own mistakes.  It’s what I did, what we all did, but it's SOOOOOO hard when the maternal lifeguard takes over and we see the waves coming.  We want to make them see what we see, and do what we wish we woulda shoulda done when we saw those same waves coming at us when we were their ages.  When our moms tried to coax or warn us back to shore and we insisted on not.

As hard as it is, I'm learning to keep my feet planted firmly in the sand and enjoy life from the shore as they learn to sail their own boats.  I get the glorious joy and blessing of being part of their stories and sometimes riding along as a passenger and not in the driver's seat.  It's equally thrilling and terrifying, but I am learning to navigate my new role as mom of adult people. 

And I am immensely grateful to have Mr. Wonderful by my side to help keep me sane (not a small job).  He's so much farther along on this journey than I am, and he has unending  grace and patience with me while I figure this all out.  

I may not be there yet, but I'm on my way.

19 Things to focus on instead of COVID!

Wow.  Looking at my last post, just four weeks ago, it seems like forever since things were normal.

Well.

Here is how I’m handling ALL THE THINGS right now. I thought I'd share my thoughts because maybe some of this will be encouraging – and will also be here for me to remind my OWN self when I need it!

1) Communicate. Call and video chat with family and friends. Talk with your people you live with. Check in with each other. Share your frustrations, fears, worries, and stresses. Don’t keep it all to yourself. Sharing is healing.

2) Remember – this will pass. We will not be isolating and living in this uncertainty forever.

3) Do what you can…and then let it go. It’s easy to get consumed with sanitizing EVERY SINGLE THING and then looking around wondering if THIS has germs on it, or maybe THAT over there…ugh. That’s a spiral I don’t need to swirl in. So, I have made a plan for myself and my home. We sanitize:
· When we get home (hands, phones, keys, purse handles, water cups).
· When we get in our car after being out in public.
· At least once a day go through the house and get light switches, counters, handles, buttons, keyboards, and remotes.
· And then…let it go. Seriously, let go of it. Don’t allow myself to worry and obsess.

4) Help others. There are opportunities out there to help those who are unable to help themselves.  Even from our homes.  There are community groups (like the Facebook group "Winona Neighbors Helping Neighbors") who have banded together and are offering help to those who are isolated and don’t have the resources to get what they need.  As long as I am able to, I’m going to continue to help. If I get sick, I’m going to get sick helping people.

5) Sing! Sing loud and often and crazy!  80’s pop!  Hard rock! Get your country on! Or go mellow. Whatever gets your energy out or gets you to take a deep breath and relax. Music is therapy.

6) Pray! God is not surprised by this. He knows what’s going on, and how and when it will end. He has a purpose in this, and He is our only hope - not only now but always.

7) Laugh! Watch funny movies, share Facebook memes. Laughter is healing.

8) Youtube happy things - puppy and kitten videos, penguins walking down stairs, and seals. Oh my word, the seals!  Watching baby seals play make me soooo happy. Google family photo fails. I call this “Penelope Therapy” (Criminal Minds fans will know what I mean).

9) Connect – organize a group chat, a group sing, an online game, or whatever we can do to spend time together and see each other’s faces. Not sure what this will look like yet, but this weekend we are going to organize a virtual family game of Catan!

10) Turn off the dang news. I check in with the news once (ok twice) a day so I am informed, but then I make myself leave it alone. I don’t need to inundate myself with this, it only breeds fear and worry. God is bigger than all the predictions that are being thrown around. He’s teaching us to trust and rely on Him, not the government or even the medical community. I don’t need to listen to what everyone is saying, I need to listen to Him.

11) Move! I’m still working at my job for now so I’m not sitting around ALL day, but when I’m home I need to move. I haven’t been working out like I was for the past few weeks, and my body feels it. I need to go for a walk outside, do my Beachbody workouts, stretch. Again, reminding myself here :)

12) Go outside. I CRAVE fresh air (as my family will attest when I whip open all the windows and declare that we NEED SOME FRESH AIR IN HERE!) Nature is therapeutic for me. Listening to the birds, feeling the breeze and sunshine on my face, taking in a deep breath of fresh air and watching the clouds. Get me by a waterfall and forget it. I’ll sit there for hours if you let me.

13) Create. I love to write – blogging, journaling, even doodling. I also love to cook, bake, and play my (out of tune) piano.

14) Clean & organize. This is also therapeutic for me, and if you’ve been to certain areas of our house lately (eh-hem, our office and storage room) you will see that I NEED SOME THERAPY!

15) Light a yummy smelling candle. I especially love the ones that crackle. That alone reaches 3 of our 5 senses!

16) Practice mindfulness. I’m not talking about in a weird spiritual kind of way, but as a therapeutic technique. Mindfulness is simply being aware and present in the moment and focusing on what is going on in and around you (a.k.a. getting out of your head). Focus on your 5 senses…what can you see, hear, feel, taste and touch right now? Especially if you find yourself getting anxious or overwhelmed or ruminating on negative thoughts…focus on one or all of your senses and break out of that cycle in your mind that is taking you nowhere but to Anxietyville. (I have spent a lot of time there, I know it well).

17) Realize what is truly important in life. I think we are all doing this right now on a new level. Basic needs are no longer taken for granted (I’ve never been so happy to have toilet paper before). I miss being close to people (I’m a hugger), seeing people’s smile (we are all wearing masks at work), and going to coffee shops (Jesus, take the wheel).

18) Remember all of this after the crisis is over. Nearly every generation goes through some type of crisis, and we learn some valuable lessons through experiencing them that we maybe would never learn if life was always calm and good and predictable. As bad as things are (this is difficult, not gonna sugar coat it), many have lived through far worse than what we are experiencing now. The Vietnam War. The Great Depression. The Holocaust. The Macarena. Let’s keep things in perspective.

19) Lastly, and MOST importantly….TRUST God. Just trust Him. Tell Him all your worries and frustration and sadness and even anger. He knows it all anyway, and He tells us in His word that He wants us to bring all our cares to Him. He bears our burdens, heals our wounds, and guides us. He does not promise an easy life, or one free from crisis or heartache. But He promises to those who love Him that He will bring good out of EVERY situation. We have a good God who walks with us through every storm that we experience on this earth, and when our time is up He walks us into eternity with Him. That is what I hold onto.

PS, this is coming soon...