20/20 Vision

Today was a good day.  First thing I did after waking up this morning was read my devotional and write in my journal.  My best days always start with that.  I'm not sure what it is, but I have always struggled with prayer.  I get so distracted sometimes and my thoughts go all over the place (shocking, I know).  Like I can be driving and praying about my day and a song comes on and suddenly it's 1984 and I'm in my best friend's basement wearing jeans and a hot pink sweatshirt singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" with too much eye shadow and a side ponytail.   But when I journal my prayers, I stay focused.  I start writing things I didn't even know I thought.  Or felt.  And I start to hear from God.

That's what happened today.  Usually in January I think about what my dreams and goals are for the new year.  MY vision...MY experiences...

But today, God gave me a new perspective.  What does HE want for me this year?  Not just what He wants me to do for Him, but He has dreams for me.  Things He wants me to experience, accomplish, and dream.  He wants me to experience JOY!  Jesus died to give me life, not just in Heaven but here on earth too.  And not just a life (as if that's not enough), but an ABUNDANT life!

"...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10

I have always struggled with the concept that God wants us to have an "abundant life".  He wants us to be happy?  It seems kind of self-focused and shallow.  We aren't supposed to care about our own happiness, right?  I mean, the world chases after happiness and it often eludes us.  God wants us to bless others and not be focused on ourselves, that's true.  I get that.  But according to His Word, He also wants us to be blessed, full of joy, and to prosper...which doesn't necessarily mean wealth or the absence of trouble.  (I'm not a believer in the "prosperity gospel").  We can have joy, even in the midst of heartache and trials.  I've experienced that.  And I understand that He wants us to be fulfilled, spiritually and emotionally in Him.

But....the idea that He wants me to be happy.  That He has dreams for me.  The God of the universe has dreams for ME.  He wants me to experience things in this world for no other purpose than to enjoy them?  I'm going to have to pray about that some more.

Without the side ponytail.

Which I rocked, by the way.