I miss...

when my kids were younger

and they didn't yet know that I am human

I was "Mommy"

and I could fix most things with a hug and kiss

or something yummy

a tickle and some giggles

a snuggle and a movie

or legos

...when they didn't yet know that I make mistakes

and they hadn't yet figured out how to roll their eyes

or shake their heads at something I told them to do

...I much preferred the hand holding

the snuggling

when "it will be ok" was enough

and they felt secure in my arms

when they didn't yet know

that moms can die

and dads can leave

that sometimes their parents will miss the mark

and not be there for them

unintentionally

and that it would break both our hearts.

I remember when Nick was born,

and he would cry...

and I would cry

and I wanted to put him back in my womb

where he would be safe

from the hurts of this world.

I miss the time when I always knew

what to do

and what to say

to make their hurt go away

well not always,

but usually...

For as much as I have tried to shelter them

and love on them

and protect them

and nurture them...

there is just no way to keep them

from every hurt

it's hard for a mother's heart to take

to realize that I can't love everything away

that I am flawed

and I fail.

Thank God

who redeems

who loves where I cannot love

who reaches out His hands

and His heart

to the lost

even me...

Thank God

for becoming a Savior

for hearing the prayers of a mother's heart

to heal

to protect

to love on my children

in the places where my love cannot reach.

And thank God

that sometimes

a hug and kiss

or something yummy

a tickle and some giggles

a snuggle and a movie

or even legos...

still work.

"All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children's peace." Isaiah 54:13

"For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants." Isaiah 44:3